Distractions
by teamEdwardonly
Summary: What all were the schemes of Bella when Edward tried not to touch her while on their honeymoon? Read on for the trials and tribulations of a wife lusting after her vampire husband.
1. Day One

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Distractions**

Day One

My honeymoon could officially be considered over. My husband flinched every time he looked at my body, and he had vowed to never touch me again. Until I turned into a vampire that is.

I knew I should be grateful- satisfied even. Edward had only ever promised to _try_ to have a real honeymoon while I was still human. He'd made good on his promise too- we had tried. And while it had been beyond anything I had even hoped for, it hadn't exactly gone without a hitch. Edward was a bit of a perfectionist, and well, simply insane when it came to my safety, so he couldn't overlook the _teeny, tiny_, not-even-painful-in-the-least bruises that had developed on my skin from our one night together. I didn't blame him at all for them- holy crow- it had been the first time ever for _both_ of us, not to mention the slightly significant fact that he was a vampire and I, a soft, squishy human. I doubted this kind of situation had ever happened before in the history of the world, and he was worried over a few bruises?

Still, if I was a good, selfless person, I should be able to just treasure this memory until after I got my bodily upgrades- one of the most important being non-bruisable skin apparently- and my human instincts came back in some form. But when would that be? A few years from now? And how much would they return anyway? I thought of the Cullen family- they were always so calm and unruffled. It was hard to imagine- not that I particularly wanted to anyway- any one of them feeling the immense passion that I felt for Edward now. It couldn't possibly be the same as when you were a human. Humans were often completely overtaken by their silly weaknesses, including their powerful pheromones. Vampires would never be so feeble.

So this was my only shot. However long we had on the island would be the only time I would have to experience this with Edward. And I wasn't giving up.

It was going to be tricky though. I had a lot working against me. Edward was of course vehement and tenacious himself when he had set his mind to something. And he was very used to denying himself and being the "responsible one" when it came to our physical relationship. I was _fairly_ certain that he enjoyed it as much as I did, but he had much better control of himself. Still, I wouldn't mind it so much if he acted like a normal boy and _I_ had to be the one to refuse him occasionally. Yet, even in my head, that seemed utterly incomprehensible… I doubt I would _ever_ think of refusing him anything in that department.

There was also the small matter that I had no idea how to be seductive. Certainly, even after just our one night, I felt more comfortable. I had no reservations about actually accomplishing the act anymore, but that didn't mean I could prance around in skimpy lingerie. Yet. If it came down to it, I would force myself to. I made a pact with myself now to use any means of seduction that became necessary. I would probably end up looking clumsy and idiotic- as usual- but I just had to try.

And lastly, as if I wasn't already extremely self-conscious of my body and well aware of the vast gap between Edward's magnificent one and my average one, the truth was, it was now covered with purplish bruises from my head to my toes. I'm sure it was love alone that made Edward able to overlook all of my human body's imperfections, and now what hope could I have when I was spotted all over like a cow?

I'd have to go slowly- wait a while for the bruises to start to disappear. I could live with that. Hopefully it would help me build up my courage.

After I'd eaten breakfast that first morning when he'd told me his resolution to not touch me until after I'd been changed, he convinced me to take a walk around the island. I was still so full from the breakfast that I didn't really complain- I needed it to settle my stomach a little. And I was very curious about this paradise we were currently living in.

I was so grateful to Esme for letting us borrow her island, and for Edward for thinking of it; there could be no more perfect place in the world. How silly I was to have thought we'd go somewhere cold and wintry. I should have known that Edward would put my needs before his own. But then, here, completely secluded to the world, it served both our needs. It didn't matter how much the sun shone, displaying Edward's breathtaking glittering skin, if no one else was around to see it. Just as this phase of life for us was new and exhilarating, being with each other in such a different atmosphere with everything warm and bright, it felt like we were no longer part of the normal world. We had our own world now, where it was completely normal and right for us to be together.

He held my hand lightly as we walked along the pale beach, occasionally describing different points of interest. I was hard-pressed to tear my eyes away from the dizzying beauty of Edward in the sunlight, but I somehow managed. I wanted to see all of the island. I wondered how much time we could spend here. Maybe we should just live here, occasionally going back to visit family. This would be as good of a place as any for my transformation. Definitely better than hunting penguins in Antarctica.

At one point we came to a beautiful tide pool, the water crystal clear and almost melding into the sky above it. My face must have perked up at the sight of it, because he laughed softly as he watched my expression.

"Shall we go for a swim?" he asked, smiling.

I paused one moment as an idea came into my head. Here was a great opportunity. My heartbeat quickened a little, but I forced myself to sound confident.

"Sure." I shrugged my shoulders lightly, smiling back. "And since no one's around…" I started to slip my dress off of my shoulders.

My hands were immediately stopped by his cold ones. He held both of them in one hand, his other one tugging up on the shoulders of my dress to put them in their proper places. His lips were twisted a little in annoyance and he glared at me when he was finished. But I did see him swallow quickly before he spoke.

"I _meant_ to suggest that we swim later and with the proper attire, of course." He looked up at the sun. "Besides, it's time for lunch now. Let's go home." He smiled again, and I couldn't speak for a moment. See how effortlessly he could use his physical charms to disarm my defenses?! It was incredibly unfair.

He made me lunch- chicken and tomato sandwiches with some exotic sounding dressing- and it was, again, great. Our roles were completely switched now- I was the pig husband, gorging on food and lusting after my spouse, while Edward slaved away to make sure my every need was met. Well, not every need. Not the one I wanted most. Not the most vital to my existence.

From all of the times that I had eaten in front of him, you'd think he would know to gauge my usual portion size. Maybe the recipe was always meant for two and he didn't want to chance adjusting it, not being able to taste it for himself for correctness. Maybe, after seeing how I looked like without clothes, he thought I needed some plumping up in some places- a definite possibility in my mind. Maybe, like always, he went a little overboard and would rather I have too much to eat than too little. Whatever the reason, I had been surprisingly hungry, though I didn't think the walk had been that strenuous, so I didn't care. Now that I was finished, I felt ready to kick back and conjure up some compromising position for us when he started talking about the cove again. His voice alone was already mesmerizing and then with the sea life he described we could see, I didn't have a hope of refusing. I allowed myself a scowl at him though, but nodded my assent.

He dashed out of sight for a second, and when he came back, one blink later, he handed me a swimsuit. I noticed he was already wearing dark swim trunks of his own, looking like the world's most perfect model in them.

"Why don't you go put your swimsuit on while I go get our snorkeling things ready. Well, I suppose I should say _your_ snorkeling things." He grinned, winking at me, and dashed out of sight again.

Oh. That's right. He didn't need to breathe. He wouldn't need a snorkel.

I cannot wait to be a vampire.

Wait a second. Yes, I can. There are more important things than the ability to go without breath indefinitely. Like using my wifely rights.

I sighed loudly, hoping he could hear, and walked back into the house. I deliberated for a second outside of the bathroom door. Should I undress here and hope that he might come back? But then, with his supersensitive hearing, he would probably hear that I was undressing, and therefore would stay far away. Oh, and I still had ugly purple circles all over my body. There was still that sad little fact.

I finally shuffled over to the bathroom, a little more depressed. I changed out of my dress quickly, and then picked up the swimsuit he'd given me. Like with all of the other clothes I had with me now, they were of Alice's choosing, and I should have known to be frightened. This was scarier than some of the glimpses of lingerie I had seen, or at least, less modest than those. It was a bikini, striped with different shades of blue. The top part was composed of suspiciously small triangles. I wondered if it would actually cover anything- not that there was much to cover in that area anyway…

I tried it on, not looking in the reflection when I was finished. I didn't need to be depressed any more.

I searched through my suitcase, looking for something to cover myself in. There were a few island-type sarongs and I wrapped myself in one. In one of the side pockets, I found some sunscreen. SPF 50. Hmm, apparently Alice wasn't aware that no matter how hard I tried, my skin refused to be any color other than alabaster white. I had discovered this years ago living in the sunlight-drenched city of Scottsdale, Arizona, where I had been the local albino. But I would still put it on. Most likely, vampire venom could cure skin cancer, but I didn't want to take any chances.

Then a new use for this sun screen gave me an idea. I opened the cap and squeezed a small amount into my hand. I started with my face, making sure I didn't leave any smears, then moved onto my arms and stomach. I sat down on the edge of the tall suitcase and began rubbing some more sunscreen onto one of my legs.

"Edward," I called, hoping he couldn't hear the nervous edge to my voice.

"Bella?" He was standing outside the doorway immediately.

I switched to the other leg, trying to smooth on the sunscreen more slowly. I felt like an idiot. "Is everything ready?"

It took him a second longer than usual to respond; I looked up, but his expression was smooth. "Yes. Shall I wait for you outside?"

He was trying to get out of the room. Because I was making him uncomfortable- in a good way?

I stood up. "Actually, I need your help with something." I faced my back to him, looking over my shoulder. I held the sunscreen in one hand. "Could you put some on my back?"

He looked suspicious now. His eyes were narrowed as he stared at me. I raised my eyebrows a little in innocence. "What, Edward? I really can't do this by myself."

He hesitated one second longer.

"Fine. But when I get skin cancer, we'll know whose fault it is." I started to close the cap.

He was behind me in a flash, taking the sunscreen out of my hands. He squirted a liberal amount into his hand. His expression was murderous.

"Don't think I don't know what you're doing, love." He spoke close to my ear. His voice was silky, unintentionally- I'm sure- seductive. Once again, he had to do so little to accomplish what I worked so hard to gain. "You're lucky that this does concern your safety, so I have no choice but to do this."

I said nothing, lifting my hair with both arms out of the way to expose my neck.

I couldn't be sure, but I thought I heard him sigh quietly, and then start to rub the sunscreen onto my shoulders.

This was better than I could have planned for. My back had the least amount of bruises on it, only one or two. And with the sarong, the marks on my legs were mostly covered. I bent my arms forward, while keeping my hair pulled up, hopefully obscuring any of the spots on my arms.

His cold hands were quick, yet somehow it seemed a little slower than normal for him. They felt very good on my back- there was no air conditioning system here I noticed and so anytime I spent without contact from his cool body left me sweating. Hmm, I'd have to add that fact to my list of logical reasons for him to touch me, if ever I had the chance to expound on them to him.

I heard the click of the sunscreen bottle, signaling that he was finished.

"There. All done. Let's go." Did I imagine the slight strain in his velvety voice?

"Oh, wait a second." I untied the strings of the sarong from my waist and let it drop to the floor. "Could you get my lower back too?"

I was doing much better than I had expected, despite my certainty that he could hear the tremble in my voice or my elevated heart rate. I kept looking straight ahead. But it was hard, when he didn't move or speak for a few seconds.

He finally rubbed the sunscreen in more quickly than before; it took him just one second. He turned away, exhaling slowly.

"Let's go," he muttered and walked away. His voice was low and tense, but not in the way I'd hoped for. He sounded angry again.

I turned to look at myself quickly in the bathroom mirror. Ah, of course, when I'd slipped off the sarong, I'd uncovered all of the bruises marking the back of my legs.

Darn these bruises! They would be my downfall. And I didn't even have the hope for the cloak of darkness when night time came- another slight problem of having a vampire for a husband: he could always see perfectly no matter the amount of lighting.

But I wasn't giving up yet. I would be realistic- he needed time to let himself be happy again and to stop torturing himself, and my body needed time to recuperate. In a few days time, we'd both be back to normal, and then maybe my clumsy, inept attempts at seduction might have a chance at success.

In the meantime, I wasn't about to just sit idly by and do nothing. I had been studying his every movement, every response. He'd tried to hide it well, but I saw enough to know he wasn't completely immune to me. There was hope still. I slid the sarong once more onto my hips and tied it. Glancing quickly at my torso and arms, I saw that they too were still covered in purplish spots, so I shrugged into a light t-shirt. Better to try and help him forget as quickly as possible.

He was waiting for me outside, staring out into the ocean, his hands on his hips, with the scuba gear slung over one shoulder. I touched his shoulder lightly, and then, stretching on my toes to reach, I kissed the tip of it.

"Sorry," I said, touching the side of his face to turn it toward me.

He rolled his eyes and exhaled sharply. "_You_ have nothing to apologize for."

His arm wound around my waist and we began to walk down the beach.

"Yes, but… I was making things hard on you back there. I'll _try_ to be better." Main emphasis on **try**.

His hand moved to rub my shoulder and he sighed, but smiled quickly. "It's okay. I'm used to your impulsive human hormones- or, at least, I should be by now. And it's still not your fault that you're so desirable."

I shot a quick look at him, sure that I had a gleam in my eyes. My eyebrow arched. "So I am desirable?" I smiled widely.

He dropped his face into his free hand and groaned. Then he looked up at me with a tired expression. "I will never, ever chance at hurting you again, Bella. That's final."

"You didn't answer my question."

"Because it's a moot point right now."

"Meaning that no degree of desirableness could induce you to-"

"That's exactly right."

"Hmph. We'll see…"

I was sounding- and feeling- surprisingly confident. Maybe because I knew his whole argument was ridiculous. It probably wasn't even his fault- all my life I had gotten sudden bruises on my body and had no idea where they came from. It kind of went hand in hand with the whole clumsy, always about to fall on your face thing. I wasn't going to back down now and he knew it.

We arrived at the cove again, looking pristine and beautiful just like it had before. I carefully took off my outer clothing; he spent much more time than was necessary- especially for a vampire- to check the scuba gear. He helped me put it on, smiling gently as he did. Once again, I was extremely jealous that he did not have to wear such ridiculous things. All the same, I was sure that if he did, he would still be able to pull it off and look as magnificent and beautiful as ever.

Someday I might be like that too.

In the meantime, I was stuck as a silly human with dorky scuba gear.

I removed the mouthpiece from my lips. "Is there any other way to do this? Without me looking like a clown, that is?"

His smile deepened. "What ever do you mean, Mrs. Cullen?" he asked in mock surprise. "You look just as seductive as ever."

I raised an eyebrow. "Mmhmm. Sexy like my lumpy leather jacket sexy, right?"

He grinned. "Precisely."

"You have a very odd sense of attraction, you know. Not at all like the average boy."

"And I never proclaimed to be an average boy, now did I? You're not much better either, by the way. You're the one who's married to a vampire." He smirked.

"Pretty soon you will be too."

"Look how you've corrupted me…" He sighed and swiftly kissed the tip of my nose. He took my hand in his. "Ready?"

I nodded and waddled to the shoreline. If Edward had not been holding my hand, I likely would never have made it. Flippers never were the easiest things to maneuver in.

The water was still warm like last night, but compared to the jungle heat we were currently entrenched in, it felt pleasantly cool on my skin. I waded out, letting him guide me. He smirked at me often from beneath the surface of the water where he comfortably swam without the need for oxygen. I scowled back through my ridiculous goggles.

He led me to a spot where there was some kind of reef. Swimming in and out through the maze of coral were all types of fish, multi-colored and bright. It was a living kaleidoscope.

He stayed with me near the surface, because if he went nearer to the sea life, they would all scatter away. Some kind of sense of natural predator or something. Poor fishes didn't know what they were missing. As it was, any fish that began to swim towards us curiously usually stopped midway, and quickly swam in the opposite direction.

We spent a few hours there, watching the fish and swimming around for awhile. The water in the tide pool was calm and untroubled, so I couldn't fake being tossed to and fro to get him to hold me. He stayed always within easy distance of me, but he did not try to touch me.

I was feeling ravenous and pretty tuckered out by the time the sun was setting. We walked hand in hand back to the house. The sun sparkling on the sand mirrored the glitter of his skin. The sky was brilliant with streaks of orange, purple, and pink. The perfect day with the most perfect person in the most perfect place.

Well, almost perfect. But I was going to work on that.

He made some kind of Spanish dish for dinner with rice, vegetables, and meat. I was very grateful that he had learned to cook, especially now when I felt so exhausted, but I had to admit, it was kind of a stab at my pride. Before our wedding, I had thought that cooking might be the only thing I was better at than him. How cruel to have been beaten by someone with no sense of taste and no desire for food.

I should have known better, but I overate again. This did nothing to help my sleepiness. I was tempted to let him carry me to bed. But my determination was stronger than that. I forced my eyes to stay open and stood up from the table.

I sat down on the arm of his chair and threw my arms around him, but I tried to make it light so that I wouldn't scare him off. I kissed his cheek quickly.

"Thank you. For everything. It's really been a perfect day."

He didn't seem suspicious. His hands rubbed my back softly. "For me as well."

I snuggled my face into his cold neck. "Oh, by the way, thanks for marrying me, too."

He laughed out loud. "Shouldn't I be the one saying that? Haven't I always said that, ever since you finally agreed to marry me?"

"Exactly. You really had a lot to put up with." I scrunched up my forehead. "I'm not entirely sure why you did."

"But I do." He pressed his lips to my forehead.

"I'm glad."

"I'm glad you're glad."

I couldn't help inhaling his sweet scent and then sighing happily. I pulled him tighter to me for a second, but, before he could stiffen and turn away, I hopped up and started to walk away.

"I'm going to go get ready for bed now," I called casually over my shoulder.

I rummaged through the piles of lace and silk, hoping to find something reasonable. My new sister couldn't have been that heartless, could she have?

Apparently, she wasn't; I found a white satin nightie that covered quite a bit- actually most of my body except my arms. That was unfortunate as the bruises on my arms were pretty noticeable- I had been right; the bruises had finally developed now and they were as dark as ink on my pale skin. Well, maybe my expectations shouldn't be so high for tonight. My hopes would be higher when the bruises went away more.

That didn't mean I shouldn't try to at least reason with him, though.

I walked out. He was lying on the bed, over the sheets. He watched me as I walked toward the bed, but there was nothing in his gaze to make me think I would gain any ground tonight. Alice might as well have packed me extra large muumuus to wear for all the good these were doing. The boy was indestructible.

"Are you sure you can make it to the bed? You look like you might fall over at any minute." He grinned at me.

"I'm sure you'd like that, wouldn't you?" I glared at him, as I climbed under the sheets. I slid close to his side, automatically taking one of his arms and wrapping it around my waist. He stiffened.

"Bella…" he said warily.

"Don't worry, Edward. I'm not going to attack you." I patted his arm reassuringly. "But as you are my husband now, I have complete ownership over this body" -I squeezed his tantalizing bicep- "which means I get to use it in any way I deem necessary. Right now, I desperately need a cooling system, and you happen to be my favorite kind. Don't complain- I have official certification, signed a paper, said eternal vows, all of that."

He chuckled and relaxed his posture. "Is that why you married me? Have you always only wanted my body?"

"I won't deny that it was a large part of my decision making process."

"This explains a lot. And here I thought our love was so pure and innocent."

"Well, I normally am. _You _were the one to turn me into an ogling beast. And it was because of you that I now have legal rights to anything I want from you. But, I'd just like to point out, that _this_" -I gestured to my body beneath the sheets- "is all _yours_ as well. Officially. We have written documentation of it."

"Really?" He sounded excited.

"Mmhmm. I give you complete ownership. Do whatever you want with it."

He leaned in closer to my ear. "Whatever I want?" he breathed.

My heart stammered and I trembled. "Yes. I won't mind at all."

"Hmm…" His nose took in the scent at my neck for a moment, then he kissed my hair quickly. "I think I want this body to go to sleep."

I frowned. "You want it to sleep? You're a very boring owner." But I couldn't help the yawn that took over halfway through my sentence. My lids felt very heavy.

"You should rest, love. I have many, many exciting things planned for us tomorrow." He began to hum my lullaby.

I tucked my head in closer to his chest. "Just you wait for what I have planned for you," I mumbled.


	2. Day Two

Day Two

I woke up with the sunlight streaming down on me again. Cool arms were still wrapped around me- a very good sign. I spent a few seconds enjoying the moment, as I wasn't sure when I'd get another chance at feeling his body next to mine. But he would know I was awake soon, so I stretched my body out, trying to brush against his as much as possible. I looked up at him through my eyelashes. He gazed back warily.

"Good morning, my husband," I cooed, hugging him closer.

That threw him for a bit. Suspicion fled his face and he hugged me back, his expression soft.

"Good morning, my wife," he whispered tenderly into my neck. His hand brushed lightly against my cheek. "Do you recall how weeks, no, actually _days_ ago, I had to beg you to use that term? Look at you now, using it so carelessly." He made a tsking noise. "How do you explain yourself?"

I looked up at the ceiling, considering. "Well, I do find marriage to be slightly more tolerable than I expected."

"_Tolerable?_" His eyebrow arched.

"Well… I was worried you might go into shock if I described it as ecstatically wonderful." I shrugged, biting my lip.

A euphoric smile slowly lit up his face. He bent down, touching our foreheads together for a moment, eyes closed, cupping the side of my face with one cool hand. His other hand found mine over the covers and he interlaced our fingers together.

"So, you admit I was right then? To make this a demand?" he asked quietly, a smile in his voice.

I opened my eyes, rolling them. "In this one tiny instance, yes, it would appear you were correct."

He pressed his face into my hair, inhaling deeply. "And you'll be trusting my judgment from now on in any and all other decisions?"

"Did you slip the words 'honor and obey' into my vows without my noticing? Or is it suddenly 1952?"

I felt his lips curve upward in a smile against my cheek. "I'm merely pointing out that, if we looked at our history, this is simply one of the many times where I was right about something you did not think was important. Shouldn't that garner a little more trust?"

I knew what he was getting at.

"Actually, I think we should examine the many instances when you were deadly wrong about things. Usually when you were being _overly cautious_?"

Now he knew that I knew what he was getting at.

"Bella, we're not discussing this." He started to get up.

I threw myself on top of him, holding him to the bed.

"Wait! I just thought of a way to go from ecstatically wonderful to ethereal happiness."

His eyes narrowed. "What would that be?"

"I bet you could guess…" As quick as I could, I kissed down the column of his throat. It meant something on his part that he allowed me to reach the bottom, before flipping us around in a blindingly fast spin, so that I lay full out on the bed while he pinned my arms down. He slid off me and the bed, and walked over to the kitchen.

"I'm going to go start breakfast," he called out.

I stayed on the bed. Well, at least I had been able to kiss him for a bit. I would have to consider that a victory. For right now.

I stretched again- my body felt abnormally stiff. I glanced out the glass doors; the sun was much higher in the sky than I expected.

"How long did I sleep for?" I asked, sliding out of the bed.

"Ten hours, actually." His voice came from the kitchen, amongst sounds of rummaging. "What would you like to eat?"

I paused to think for a moment. "Eggs still sound good."

"I thought there was a greater variety to human food. We need to widen your palette, apparently."

"What can I say? Eggs- they're the mountain lions of human food."

I heard the click of the stove turning on. "All of those tedious hours, watching Food Network- wasted," he muttered. Soon I heard some crackling on the stove and I could smell the eggs cooking.

"Could you add some bacon as well?" I asked as I walked over to the suitcases. I started looking through the piles until I realized I had no idea what to dress for.

"Uh, what are our plans for the day?"

He was peeling some bacon out of a package. If it was possible for vampires to vomit, he looked fairly close to it. "That depends. We could go back to the cove- the reef goes on for a bit longer." He threw a piece of bacon into the hot pan, and shivered slightly in disgust. It spluttered back at him. He returned to the eggs. "There's also a sort of jungle on the coast- Carlisle told me about it. That would be quite interesting."

"That sounds good." I hesitated. "Wait- will hiking be involved?"

He turned to look at my expression. He found it amusing apparently.

"Just a bit."

I sighed.

"I'll be there. When you need help," he promised.

Hmmm. Hiking would involve tripping, but tripping would involve holding, and holding could involve kissing. Was I willing to endanger myself to get him to touch me? Absolutely.

"Alright. So I'd better wear sturdy clothing, right?" I looked back at the pile of clothes dubiously.

"That could be a good idea, yes."

"Wish me luck," I muttered, holding up some mesh see-through top. Honestly, did Alice know me at all?!

After some thorough rummaging, the best I could find were some cargo shorts that came a little above my knees and a sleeveless dark green shirt. It did cover most of my bruises, except on my arms; fate seemed determined to keep them bare as a reminder. I padded off to the bathroom, again doubting that undressing in front of him would have any positive effects. I also put my sunscreen on by myself while in there; I didn't have the excuse of an exposed back since my shirt covered that part.

Hiking. How had I missed any major amounts of topographical differences in the landscape while walking around yesterday? Oh yes, because I had been busy plotting ways to seduce my husband.

Well, this too could be a great opportunity. Better than yesterday's actually. The tide pool, while extremely beautiful, had been much too calm. Jungles and hiking were fraught with peril, and Edward was usually good about touching me when he thought I was in peril. I may have to use some of my acting skills, which weren't very good as many had told me, but probably not too much. I would not find it hard to discover ways to endanger myself. They came quite naturally.

By the time I was done with dressing, Edward had finished cooking breakfast and had changed his clothes and packed a backpack for us to take on the hike. I ate quickly, for time and ravenous hunger purposes, making sure to compliment him on the bacon. It had been quite the sacrifice for him.

We were off and walking shortly after. I knew if I was holding Edward's hand, I would have less likelihood of tripping, but it just wasn't a sacrifice _I_ was willing to make. I was sure I could find something worthwhile to fall over when we reached our destination spot.

In the meantime, our moderate hike through the jungle afforded a great opportunity for reasoning again. And it was best to start now, catch him by surprise if I could.

"So," I began conversationally. "I've made a list of logical reasons on why we should try again…"

Immediately, as if he was developing a sixth sense for when this topic of conversation was coming, he pinched the bridge of nose and closed his eyes in frustration. "Bella, you are going to drive me insane," he muttered.

"In a good way?"

He shook his head vehemently. "Not in a good way."

"Oh," I pouted my lips. "Well, hear me out anyway. I'm pretty sure vampires can't go insane, and anyway I spent a lot of time thinking about this."

He snorted, rolling his eyes. "Why does that not surprise me? Maybe it _is_ a good thing I can't hear your thoughts…"

"You're missing out. They're very entertaining."

"In this one instance, I think I'm better off. It sounds like a cesspool in there."

I narrowed my eyes at him. I was not some sicko leech… well, except when it concerned my husband. But I had legal rights to that. "Excuse me. I would like to begin…"

"Oh, forgive me. Proceed."

I cleared my throat. "Well- and this is a very intellectual argument, by the way. I've examined the facts in a very detached, objective manner. If I make it to graduation at Dartmouth, we can use it for my thesis- Anyway, logical reason number one: we have not taken in all of the data to make a correct assessment of the situation. Let's start by simply examining how to reach a proper conclusion. Take, for example, the scientific method. You have a hypothesis; you experiment, and then examine the results. Result_s_! That means that you have to try the experiment more than once, Edward!"

"Some things are too dangerous to try again," he growled fiercely.

"Well, any scientist would tell you to never give up after the first experiment, even if it was dangerous. Danger usually brings out the best results, anyway. Think of all the great things that would be missing from our world if their inventors had thought it was too dangerous? There would be no T.V.-" I paused to judge his reaction.

He shrugged indifferently.

"No computers."

"Most often they're filled with filth."

"No airplanes."

"Running takes only slightly longer."

I pulled out my trump card. "No Aston Martins, because no cars would have been created."

A look of profound pain came upon his face. Ha, I'd hit a sore spot.

He must have seen the triumph in my smile because his face abruptly smoothed.

"Have you considered the benefits of such a world? People are wasting their lives away in front of their television sets everyday. Not to mention the numerous studies on the violent rage some television shows can induce. The same with computers. Now, if we didn't have airplanes or cars, yes, life would be a little more slow-paced" – for a moment his face once again slipped into a mask of pain at the thought- "but we might have more people alive. The results of these experiments have forced people into a lot of _life threatening_ situations." He glared at me meaningfully.

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, so let's say someone does get into a car accident or plane crash. Do you think they should never step into another plane or car? Especially when they walked away with just _bruises?"_

"A plane crash," he made a disgusted sound in his throat. "What a perfect comparison for what I did to you."

Ugh! This was not going at all the way I wanted. Why was I even trying to argue with him? He was too good- too good at being miserable and pessimistic!

I took a deep breath. "Moving on. Logical reason number two: you liked it too."

He exhaled exasperatedly. "That was never a-" he stopped and shook his head. "We've been over this, Bella. It doesn't matter. It doesn't change anything. Neither is that a logical reason."

"But it doesn't hurt either," I pointed out. "It's a cold, hard fact that supports my argument, not yours. It's valid." I was tempted to stick my tongue out at him, but I didn't think that would help.

He wrapped one arm around my shoulder, squeezing lightly. His mouth moved close to my ear, and he spoke in a soft, velvety voice. "We will both like it so much more, love, when there's no possibility for me to hurt you."

I stopped walking, placing my hands on both sides of his face. "_Possibility_ of hurting me, yes; liking it _more_- who knows? You can't know that- unless there's _a lot_ you did not tell me about Tanya, in which case I will hunt her down and kill her when I'm a vampire" –he opened his mouth quickly, his expression exasperated, but I continued on- "From what I've seen, vampires are much too calm." I lowered my hands to ball them into fists on his shirt. "And that's why it's so important that we seize this opportunity now, Edward! I want to be wild and passionate- with you! Right now!"

He closed his eyes and exhaled. It sounded unsteady, but I couldn't be sure if it was out of longing or annoyance. "Clearly- from the way I… with the _effects_"- his mouth twisted slightly at the word_-_ "you received from my… non-calm behavior two nights ago, vampires are very capable of passion." He cupped my chin with one gentle, cold hand. His beautiful golden eyes gazed tenderly into mine. "I told you, love. Those feelings will come back. They -most definitely- have for me," he assured me.

This was going in a good direction. "Really?" I asked, my voice hopeful.

He smiled gently and his face took on a reflective expression. "Well, it's true, I can't really say that they've come back since I never, ever experienced anything close to the passion I feel for you before I met you- while as a human or vampire." He shrugged. "So, I suppose I should say it is absolutely possible for a vampire to feel such intense emotions, even if he had never felt them before in his life." He stared off into the distance, lost in thought for a moment. Then he smiled crookedly at me. "But, I took a long time because I'm so stubborn and, well, you did take _forever_ to be born." He squeezed me tighter to him and kissed my hair. "You won't have anything to worry about. You'll likely be a typical newborn and return to normal much more quickly."

I sighed, placing my hand in his and started to walk again. "After a few _years_. We'll be an old married vampire couple by then. Not nearly as fun."

"If you think we'll be a boring married couple in a few years, we've got some problems, love. What will that make us in a hundred years from now?" His mouth pulled down into a frown. "You'll trade me in for a newer model, won't you?" he sighed melodramatically. "You know, you might do better in the Denali clan, with the rest of the succubuses." He winked.

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, you know how fond I am of Tanya," I said acidly. "We could trade stories about how we were always trying to seduce you. Maybe she could give me some pointers." Now he rolled his eyes. I sighed. "Look- I'm just saying that we'll never have the same situation that we have now: Just married. One half of us is a hot-blooded, passionate human being. All alone in the middle of the ocean. Humid jungle heat all around us. Dozens of bitable pillows-"

"Oh, look- I think we finally arrived," he quickly interjected.

I was not about to let him distract me, but we had arrived and the scenery around us took all of my argument from me. I guess I hadn't really been paying attention as we hiked, despite that being the purpose of us walking at normal human pace. We were surrounded by lush greenery so thick it seemed impossible that a person could walk through it. A small waterfall streamed down a few feet from us, pooling into a pond. The sunlight, while muffled by the greenery, turned everything neon bright.

"It's so beautiful," I whispered.

"And very convenient for picnics." Edward grinned, pulling out some Tupperware from his backpack. Inside of it was lunch, which I assumed he had made while I was getting ready (honestly, when I was a vampire, would I run out of things to do within minutes? What would I do with my time?). He'd also packed a blanket for us to sit on while I ate.

Edward made sure to keep our conversation during lunch strictly on safe, non-honeymoon related topics. After I was done, we walked around for a bit, exploring the area. We heard some occasional bird calls and Edward was able to identify them for me, as well as the exotic fish in the pond. My hand was always held firmly in his, so I didn't have any opportunities for tripping.

The sun eventually lowered in the sky and we decided to head back. As he packed, his cell phone rang and he answered it after quickly checking the number. It was Carlisle, checking in. They talked for a few minutes, it sounded like he made a few more suggestions about things to see while we were here. As they talked, an idea formed in my head.

I walked over to the edge of the pond again, folding my legs and crouching down so that I balanced on my toes. I stared into the pond, pretending to watch the fish as they swam around the rocks. From the sound of it, Edward was wrapping up his conversation.

I leaned in closer, dipping my finger into the water. I could see my reflection through the ripples my finger cast on the surface of the water.

And then I fell in.

This had not actually been a part of my plan. I had only been planning on teetering back and forth on my toes for a bit, as if I was _going_ to fall, until Edward rescued me. The point of this was only for him to hold me, and perhaps incur a desperate relief at my survival that would weaken his physical defenses. But trust my clumsiness to make things worse, even when I had been pretending to be clumsy.

I was only entrenched in the warm water for one brief second before his hands found me. He pulled me out, setting me on the grass next to him, his face anxious.

"Bella! Are you all right?"

I coughed, trying to get some of the water out. "Yes," I gasped. "I didn't mean… that was… an accident."

He started to examine me, carefully looking over my face and limbs.

"You've got a few cuts on your hands, your right knee, and your temple," he observed, his voice quiet. I looked down to see some minor scrapes across my skin. The blood oozed out only minimally.

He sighed and, in a quick flash, walked over to the backpack and returned carrying a small box. "Good thing I brought a first aid kit along. I'm starting to think I should keep one on me permanently, or I need to finally get my PhD in medicine," he muttered.

The antiseptic burned a little as he applied it to my cuts, but they were really nothing. I felt like a child when he put the band-aids on them, and I was deliberating whether to ask him to kiss my boo-boos, when he spoke.

"Oh, and just so you are aware," he paused and his tone changed suddenly, darkened, "despite my inability to read your mind, I do have two eyes that can see rather well, and I know exactly what you were doing back there."

I looked up to see his face and was shocked by the fury I saw there. My mouth hung open a little and I felt my cheeks fill with heat. I truly hadn't meant for it to go as far as actually _falling_ into the water, or to scrape myself up, but I _had_ been trying to trick him into holding me- which hadn't even worked because his hands were now clenched into fists at his sides instead of wrapped around my wet, slippery form.

I felt guilty, but also angry because once again he was overreacting. I kept my mouth shut and after a few seconds of silence he could hold in his rage no longer.

"I cannot _believe_ this, Bella. That you are actually trying to hurt yourself to get me to touch you! Do you comprehend how utterly insane that is?!"

Wow, he really was mad. It made my voice sound a little weaker than I wanted. "Well, I was only trying to pretend before… and then I suddenly didn't need to pretend, and…"

"Get over it," he said, emphasizing each word slowly. "I won't have you endanger your life just for sex with me- which could also endanger your life!"

My fists were clenched now. "You are being so ludicrous about this, Edward-"

"No! I don't want to hear anything more about this." He gripped my wrists in his hands. His voice lowered to a growl. "If you speak another word on this subject, it will automatically increase the amount of time you stay human. Every additional word gives you an extra month. And also gifts. I'll buy you the most extravagant, unnecessarily expensive gifts in the world if you speak anymore about this."

I couldn't speak for a moment, I was so shocked. "Now you're the insane one!"

"Am I trying to hurt myself to have you make love to me?" he asked scathingly.

"I wish you would! You don't even have to hurt yourself- just lay there!"

"No more. This conversation is over. It will continue only once you are changed." His tone was very final.

"Edward…"

He closed his hand over my mouth. "One more word and I'll buy you a cruise ship. So help me, Bella, I swear I will," he threatened.

I clenched my teeth together. He looked just as furious. He wasn't going to budge on this.

For the first time, I felt there was no hope. I felt a deep depression start to envelop me.

We glared at each other for a few seconds.

I stood up, water dripping off of me like I was a rain cloud. This did not help the dramatic, sweeping exit I had planned. Nothing ever went the way I wanted it to.

"You're not going to say anything?" he asked, his eyes narrowed at me still.

"I have nothing to say- or what I _want_ to say I _can't_ because then you'll buy me a freaking boat!"

"Ship," he corrected.

"Whatever," I growled.

I walked over to the back pack and slung it over my shoulders. I turned to him, my arms folded across my chest. "I'm tired. Can we just run back home?" I couldn't even try to keep the sullenness from my tone.

Apparently, he was just as set on staying mad as me because he said nothing, but stood up and turned his back to me, crouching down so I could climb on.

As he ran, I thought about our afternoon. It had been so nice, just like yesterday. Maybe_ I_ was the one who would ruin our honeymoon. Maybe I was too obsessed, too greedy. Maybe it was too much to expect- a once in a lifetime experience could only happen once, after all.

Maybe I should give up.

I suddenly realized how tired I was- exhausted really. The hike hadn't been that bad, but then, I had been so busy trying to convince Edward that I hadn't really been paying attention. Maybe my mind was finally catching up with my body.

Then again, deep depression also made you rather tired.

I wouldn't have thought it possible, what with the constant heat around us, but with my soaked clothing and the brisk wind created by our run and, of course, Edward's wintry body, I got chilled.

When we arrived home, I was shivering. I quickly got into a hot shower while he made dinner. The warmth of the water did not help my sleepiness at all.

I dressed in another of the longer nightgowns and half sleepwalked to the table.

Halfway through the meal, which was eaten in a miserable silence, I was having trouble keeping my eyes open. My stomach was full, I was warm and toasty, and there was absolutely no possibility of making love with my husband. All very good reasons to go to sleep as soon as possible.

"Bella?"

His voice sounded like it was coming from far away.

"Hmm?" I mumbled.

"I am so sorry." Even from far away, I could hear the burning regret in it.

I really wanted to tell him how sorry_ I_ was- how it was all my fault, but my head was no longer able to support itself. I slumped forward over my plate, fast asleep.


	3. Day Three

Day Three

Day Three

I had been having the strangest dreams since we'd come to the island. They were so bright and clear. It had to have been from the atmosphere of the island- having spent almost two years in continually gloomy Forks, Washington would make any bright place seem very disorientating.

It was almost frightening- the clarity with which these dreams came, but because I attributed them to being here on the island, they were also pleasant. So it was hard for me, knowing what I would awaken to, when I would finally open my eyes.

I wasn't mad anymore. The old adage of "sleeping on an argument" rang true and I knew what I needed to do.

I had to give up.

Being with Edward had made me rather spoiled because I knew he would do anything for me. I had gotten used to the idea of nothing being impossible (I still hadn't gotten around to asking him if the existence of Big Foot or the Abominable Snowman was true yet…). But I should have recognized, being as Edward was always so selfless and willing to give me anything, that he would only say no when something really was impossible.

Most of the time, I completely forgot how difficult it was for him to touch me at all. This wasn't completely my fault because he was so good at covering it up. But, thinking of the way I usually lost all sensibility around him- how much harder would it be if I had to carefully monitor my every touch? If I had to always concentrate on the amount of pressure of my embrace, my hands, my fingers? Just to touch the skin of my cheek might be too much for any other vampire- and here I was demanding the most intimate, most powerful physical act from Edward!

How could I be so selfish? I, miraculously, had him for all eternity and I was quibbling over this? I should just trust him- trust that it would still be such an incredible experience after I changed. Anything with Edward was incredible; vampirization would not alter that.

I took a moment to remember and relish our night together. It was more than any other human being could have ever experienced- more than any other human could expect. To expect more would be too much for anyone to deserve. Including myself.

I opened my eyes finally, and saw Edward's face across from mine, studying me, his face blank. I wondered if he knew I had been awake- I had tried to be as still as possible. He lay close to me, the side of his cold body pressed against mine, but his arms were not around me.

"Hi," I said, my voice creaking from sleep. I smiled at him weakly.

Immediately his hands cupped themselves around my face. He looked so anxious; it pulled at my heart strings.

"Bella, I am so sorry. I was so horribly rude. I should have never gotten mad at you like that. I'm _ruining_ our honeymoon, aren't I?" His face was twisted in pain.

I placed a hand on his cool cheek, stroking it softly. "No, Edward. No. I understand now. _I've _been the one ruining things. I'm so sorry. I promise- I won't say or do anything to get you to…" I swallowed. This was harder than I expected. "I'm going to be good from now on," I vowed.

I meant it- no more schemes; no more traps. Anything with Edward was more than I deserved. Just because I had experienced the most supreme, unsurpassable part of him did not mean I no longer appreciated and craved all of the smaller, less ethereal parts of him either.

He looked tortured as he gazed back at me. I was sure that, despite my words to the contrary, he would blame himself for this and feel incredibly guilty.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," he whispered. "You know that… if it were… I-"

Oh, how I loved it when he struggled for words. But I knew the emotion behind the struggling, so I put my fingers to his beautiful, smooth lips to silence him. Then I brushed my fingers across them, enjoying their feel. I couldn't help myself.

"I do know," I said slowly, emphatically. "I expected way more than anyone should." I sighed, shaking my head. "I keep trying to explain to you what a selfish, undeserving monster I am, but you just don't listen."

I scooted closer to him, placing a hand on his cheek and stared steadily into his eyes. "I don't want you to feel any guilt over this, Edward. You have completely fulfilled your promise. I got everything I could ever hope for; that night was more than I deserved."

He looked even more agonized. "Bella-"

I placed my hand over his mouth to stop him.

"One more word and I'll buy _you_ the cruise ship. Oh no, wait- you'd like that. All right. I'll buy you a tug boat. A really old, decrepit one."

He removed my hand from his mouth and reached over to softly, lightly press his lips to mine. I mirrored his pressure, wanting to be good, but in my mind I allowed myself to sigh in pleasure and enjoy it. Whenever he kissed me, it felt like a sudden relief from pain.

He pulled back after a second to look into my face, his expression serious.

"I love you," he whispered intensely.

I eyed him warily. "Do you love me because I'm going to be good and you feel guilty about this? Because that's going to cost you a tug boat."

He smiled crookedly and it almost looked normal.

"It's one of the millions of reasons," he squeezed his arms around me, "and a very small one compared to the numerous others. Surely that should not incur the cost of a decrepit tug boat."

I shrugged. "I would have no idea. You appear to have much more maritime expertise than me." My brow furrowed for a second. "Speaking of which, how come I never heard of this interest in boating before?"

"Have any of our conversations necessitated the discussion of boating before?" he asked wryly.

"Well, no, but it did surprise me." I gave a mock gasp. "I realize now how little I know you- I'm married to a complete stranger," I said melodramatically. He made a face so I smiled. "I'm curious. Does this satisfy some childhood dream to be a soldier in the war when you were human? Or are you having a midlife crisis at 107?" I teased.

"You should know, since you _do_ know everything about me, that it is all about the _speed_." He grinned.

"Ah," I said. "You're right. Should have guessed that."

He kissed my nose. "Are you gaining an interest in it too now? Just say the word and I really will buy us a cruise ship." He beamed, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

I narrowed my eyes into slits. "What on earth would we use it for?"

He pursed his lips as he considered. "Family vacations? Sightseeing? You know, being as we will be around for eternity, we might want to occasionally step outside of the Forks area."

Hmm, sightseeing around the world? He had a point about the eternity thing. It was still kind of hard to wrap my head around that concept- that I would exist forever- _with Edward._

I sighed. He was right much too much of the time. I wasn't about to let him have the upper hand just yet. "Let's talk about it in fifty years, okay?"

"Oh goodness, you're improving. I expected to wait a hundred years at the very least," he smirked.

My stomach grumbled just then, signaling that we stop talking about the ridiculous subject of boats.

I insisted on making my breakfast this morning. He tried to circumvent me, but I told him I had too much to make up for and ordered him to sit and watch a pro. I still could have eaten eggs, bizarrely- I really never thought I had such a special affection for them, but they were suddenly my best friends as far as food went- but I figured he might suspect me of being obsessive compulsive if I did. I decided to go with French toast instead- and at least get the eggs in the batter. I tried to taste it as much as possible as I made them, occasionally decrying the need for 'a_ dab_ more cinnamon' or 'a _smidge_ more butter'. Edward scowled at me as he asked for the metric approximation of a 'smidge'.

We decided to go back to the cove and snorkel some more. Now that I could free my mind from the constant planning of ways to seduce my husband, I could probably appreciate the island more, and I realized that I hadn't paid enough attention to the reef before.

I was trying my best to be happy, and most especially to _look_ happy. I didn't want Edward to know how big a concession this was for me. Things would just go back to the way they had been before we'd married- obviously I had been able to live with that arrangement then. Of course it always was hard to go back to something before you knew how blissfully amazing something else was once you had experienced it. But I was going to try my best to.

I put on a swimsuit- another bikini, dark red. I had to admit- something magical in the construction of it gave me a seemingly impressive bust line. Why did I choose these things when they no longer had the hope of mattering?

I also noted that some of the smaller bruises were turning more greenish, but the rest had only gone from dark purple to a more regular color. Once again, all things that had no consequence any more.

I walked out into the living room to get the sunscreen. I had allowed Edward to make lunch, and he was busy cooking it in the kitchen. I slathered the lotion on myself, trying to be quiet so as not to call Edward's attention to me. I didn't want him to become suspicious again.

But when I had everything done but my back, I had a problem. I had been trying to trap Edward when I had asked him to put it on me the other day, but I realized now that it had actually been a necessity for him to rub it on me. But I didn't want to trick him anymore, so I would just have to try to do this myself.

I struggled for a few moments, awkwardly trying to stretch my hand behind my back far enough to reach all of it. If ever I needed a way to show Edward how _unsexy_ I was, this would be one of the top choices.

I suddenly felt cool hands close over mine. "I'll do that for you," he said in a quiet voice.

I froze. His pleasingly cold hands smoothed over mine carefully, wiping the sunscreen off of them. He added some extra into his hand from the bottle. Then he began to slowly rub it into my back- with the unhurried speed that a human might use. It was agonizingly enjoyable.

What was he _doing_? Were the tables turned now and he was trying to seduce me? I blocked the dizzying joy that thought brought because I knew that could not be the case. I supposed he trusted me now that this was not some ploy of mine, and probably still felt guilty about the whole situation, and was trying to do what little he could to make things more pleasant.

If he only knew how much harder this was; harder and yet so divine that I would never stop him.

He finished, clicking close the sunscreen bottle. I expected him to walk away, but he didn't. He bent down to kiss the top of one of my shoulders softly. I felt his icy breath tickle my shoulder blade as his mouth hovered there. If I did not know much better, it would have sounded uneven to me.

I tried very hard to control my trembling. What I wanted to do was turn around and wrap my arms around his neck. I would press myself tightly to his cool, perfect body and reach up to kiss him with as much fervor as I possessed.

But I couldn't do that. I had promised.

"Thank you," I said quietly, without turning around, and walked away to put on some clothes.

Well, I suppose I had gotten just what I deserved. This must be exactly what Edward had felt when I was trying to seduce him. But he was a much better person than me; that was not what Edward was doing now. He was just trying to show me that he trusted me now. He could be more relaxed now that I wouldn't push him too far.

It was going to be hard, but I would just have to appreciate every small touch, every short kiss. Again, this was Edward; how could I not savor anything from him?

I slid a sarong and t-shirt on like I had last time and we walked out to the beach.

He helped me with my snorkel gear again, increasing my feelings of utter frumpiness when they were on. His eyes seemed to shift down often as he assisted me.

He turned away to put down our towels and things.

"That's a nice swimsuit," he said in a very even voice.

"Oh," I said, surprised. I glanced down, once again noting my surreally perky bust line. But he wouldn't have noticed that. "Thank you," I sighed sadly.

We walked hand in hand to the ocean and he led me out a little farther than we had gone the other day.

There were a few new creatures in this area of the reef that we had not seen before. Once again I felt this was such an entirely different world. Most likely everything would be boring and dull to us when we returned to our regular life.

I felt a little conflicted because this paradise we were in currently was so beautiful, and though it officially belonged to Esme it felt like our own, that I felt pain at the thought of leaving it. But at the same time, now knowing what I would have to look forward to after I changed- in some form and _years_ later I remembered depressingly- I didn't know what I wanted more.

I reminded myself that I was going to be with Edward forever. That was the only thing that mattered.

And it was.

We went back to sit on the beach for lunch. I twirled my pasta with amazing gorgonzola alfredo sauce around my fork and pondered.

"So… you're still not amenable to hunting penguins, are you?" I asked.

He looked at me in revulsion. I might as well have shoved raw bacon down his throat.

"That's what I thought. But really, I hear they can be pretty vicious. Maybe irritable penguins taste as good as irritable grizzly."

Both of his eyebrows were raised at me. "Where did this all come from?"

I sucked in another noodle. "Just wondering what our exact plans were for after the honeymoon."

"Well," he considered, looking up at the sun, "we could go to Antarctica and feast on blubbery, slimy penguins," he shuddered, "the taste may turn you off of vampirism for good though. Or we could go to Alaska as previously planned. Or… there's always Dartmouth…" he added innocently.

I snorted as I was eating another pack of noodles. They got stuck in my throat.

Right. As if I would increase my time of insufficient physical contact with him and _also_ choose to spend my time being the resident idiot in a school full of geniuses.

I patted his arm and said in a patronizing voice, "I'll have plenty of chances to go to Dartmouth- or Harvard or Yale or whatever college I want once I'm changed, Edward. And hopefully next time you won't have to bribe them. Granted, it will probably take seventy or so years for me to reach that level of intelligence, but you've demonstrated amazing patience so far."

He sighed. "It won't be the same as when you're a human."

Something about this reminded me forcefully of our argument yesterday- how those had been my exact words to him but under an entirely different context. How useful it would be to point this out to him, but it no longer mattered so I bit my tongue.

This sent me into dejection once again so, as I finished lunch, I decided to stretch out for a bit. I closed my eyes for a moment, enjoying the feel of the sun on my body.

When I opened them again, Edward was staring at me. And if I had not told myself constantly over and over again that nothing would be happening between us from now on, it would have made me excited.

Maybe I wasn't so good at reading his expression anyway. He likely was simply staring at the bruises still covering my body, but the way that his eyes appeared to smolder, it gave my always eager imagination the impression of something else. I didn't blame him; it was very difficult for Edward to _not_ look seductive (completely the opposite of myself of course). He was not fully aware of the effect he had on me by simply sitting, standing, breathing. He didn't know when he was mind bogglingly beautiful, which, I had to admit, was all of the time. After looking in the mirror after a hundred years or so, you probably got a little numb to it.

But I was going to ignore his ecstasy-inducing beauty; I was going to be good.

I sat up. "Do you want to go swimming? I asked, staring at my toes.

"Yes," he said quickly, in a low voice. "That sounds like a very good idea right now."

After awhile the sky began to darken into a painted mosaic of red and purple.

"Can we watch the sunset for a bit tonight?" I asked as I walked out of the water.

He smiled. "Of course. And I think I know the perfect place for it."

It was so warm and I didn't want to miss the sunset, so I just grabbed my clothes and he led us to a spot overlooking the cove. We sat down on the sandy ledge as we watched the red sun slip beneath the dark horizon.

I was again taken aback by this moment. This was just the first of many, many sunsets with Edward. There would be too many to count; how many sunsets were there in eternity?

Was it really possible to feel this much happiness?

The sunset was gorgeous, but I knew of a sight that would be infinitely more beautiful. I turned my head to look at Edward's face. The sun sent red sparkles across his skin, they went nicely with the bronze of his hair, made all the more apparent in this light; his liquid gold eyes became mesmerizing with the sunlight streaming into them.

I couldn't breathe. This god-like creature was somehow mine. And best of all- I was his.

He stared back at me. Neither of us had spoken a word and yet I felt we both knew exactly what the other was feeling.

His cool hands found their way to cup my face and he bent his head to kiss me. His lips pressed to mine softly, lingeringly. My breath sped and my heart raced. I wrapped my arms around his neck and held tightly.

My mind didn't even register that I should probably stop this, that it would go nowhere. As usual, he would have to be the one to stop.

But he didn't. He didn't break my choke-hold around his neck. He didn't stiffen and turn away. He held on tightly to me, his kisses turning more urgent.

I wasn't sure if I leaned back or he pressed forward, but he was suddenly pressing me into the loose sand. I was so glad I had kept just my swimsuit on, because his hands took great advantage of this fact. They slid down slowly from my neck and across my shoulders. They trailed down my trembling arms, then smoothed across my stomach, heading upwards.

It was too much. I couldn't help myself. I moaned just a little.

That must have woken him up. He opened his eyes to stare down at me in shock. He paused for just a moment before quickly- so fast I barely saw the motion of it- slid away from me.

"I-I'm sorry, Bella." He was breathing hard. "I wasn't thinking." He turned his face away ashamedly.

I lay there for a few minutes, trying to catch my breath, but also reveling in my utter joy. Because that moment had been so _right_. I felt it, knew it in my bones.

There had never been much logic to Edward's and my relationship. It shouldn't have worked, but of course it had. It was the same with all aspects of our relationship. We were simply meant to be.

I was so happy in that moment, and much more feeling like myself, I could not speak. We walked back to the house and I began to think.

There could be no greater stamp of approval from deity than that moment for me. And obviously Edward wanted it too and was perfectly capable of doing so. He just didn't _know_ it. Well, I would be more than willing enough to educate it him.

But, before I could point this out to him, I realized the beautiful situation I was in. I had pledged to be good from now on and this clearly made Edward more relaxed around me, made him less careful. Even so, nothing would happen between us if I stayed good and tried to not touch him.

But what if I didn't?

He would continue to be less careful around me, and I could slowly, subtly get him to a point where he couldn't refuse.

My world was righted again. Things were as they should be. And my chances were higher than ever. I felt a strange high envelop me.

I ate dinner and kept the conversation on very safe topics. I got dressed in the bathroom and slipped on a non-scary nightie of light blue silk. I crept into the bed and only sighed contentedly when his arms wrapped around me. I kissed him lightly goodnight and he seemed to find nothing amiss.

I could do this. I could seduce him while letting him think I wasn't. I would get an Oscar for this performance. There was no other alternative.

The game was back on.

Note: Some people have asked, so I thought I would say that I have a tentative plan to update stories once a week between Fridays and Sundays. But I will say that I'm in the midst of midterms, group projects, and starting a new job, so I can't make any guarantees. Thanks for reading!


	4. Day Four

Day Four

Waking up was much more pleasant this time. The pleasantly cold arms wrapped around me contrasted nicely with the humid air surrounding us. I could hear the ocean waves breaking against the shoreline, a few birds calling distantly from the forests. There was the smell of the beach as well, and the sunlight beaming down through the open window, and most importantly, the delicious scent coming from Edward's chest.

As appetizing as he found me as a human, I found him equally mouth-watering as a paradigm of beauty.

I could now allow myself to ogle as I now had hope. For a whole agonizing twenty-four hours I had given up on the idea of being able to have a proper honeymoon with my husband, but fate had pleasantly intervened and reminded me of the right way. Now that the universe had righted itself and I was back to my main purpose in life- worshipping Edward- I felt so much more at peace. And confident.

Yesterday had taught me a lot. Edward had been so much more relaxed around me, thinking that I would behave myself. It had worked so much more than any of my idiotic attempts at seduction or trying to reason with him.

This opened entirely new opportunities for myself. Now I had a chance. Now I had fate on my side. Now I had a weapon of mass seduction.

Reverse psychology.

As long as I made him think that I wasn't doing anything, eventually he'd have to cave in. It would be simple; I just had to do the opposite of what I wanted.

I wasn't stupid enough to think that this would be easy. I had surprisingly strong hormones, as I had discovered ever since I met Edward. But I knew the prize would be so worth the effort.

So, for example, right now I desperately wanted to kiss slowly up Edward's chest, along his throat, and up to his mouth. But that would incur immediate suspicion. But maybe…

I kept my eyes closed and sighed against his chest as if I were just waking up. I rubbed my cheek against his silky, stone pectoral as I turned my face to softly kiss it. I continued to plant a few kisses up his chest, breathing in his scent all along the way. Just before I reached his throat, I froze my body, opening my eyes to stare at him as if in shock. A blush crept easily onto my cheeks as I was nervous that he would know immediately what I was doing.

"Sorry," I said sheepishly, moving back a little. "I guess I was still dreaming."

From past experience, I would have expected him to gently roll me off of him to the other side of the bed and tell me to play nice. But his expression was warm as he looked at me, a slight smile playing about his lips.

"I don't mind so much." He brushed his fingers across my cheek, feeling the warmth there from my blush. "As long as you still dream of me, you can dream as much you like." He slid closer to me and tightened his hold around my waist. "Did you sleep well?"

I snuggled my face back into his chest. "Of course. Not everyone gets to sleep with the most perfect person in the world."

"Oh, I can think of one other." He kissed the top of my head lightly.

"Ha," I laughed against his chest. "I'm perfect already, huh? Guess that will make me the most perfect person in the universe when I turn into a vampire. Take that, Rosalie."

He sighed. "While I would love you in any form, I personally hope that you won't change too much." His fingers traced from my temple to my chin, turning it up so that he could gaze intently into my eyes. "_This_ has always been the face that I've adored. I don't want to give it up."

My heart started to beat faster. Play it cool, Bella.

But I couldn't resist asking, "And my body?" I arched an eyebrow, but my voice came out a little breathless.

"Hmm…" he considered as his eyes raked over my silk-clad form. "I believe I've grown quite partial to it, too," he murmured.

This would be the perfect opportunity to press said body to his own exquisite one and invite him to inspect his favorite parts for future renovations, but that would blow my cover. Okay, I was doing good though; I just got him to admit that he liked my body- however ludicrous the idea was. Just keep going…

"Well too bad. You're just going to have to settle for a supermodel wife, with guaranteed rocking body. But I'm sure all of the waitresses of the world will mourn with you when I can actually give them a run for their money."

He sighed again and started to kiss different points of my face. "As if you hadn't done all of that since the moment I met you," he muttered.

I snorted as my heart rate sped up. "I don't need to read minds to know that everyone who ever saw us together wondered how _I_ could ever be with _you_, Edward."

He kissed the hollow behind my ear; I withheld a sigh of pleasure. "That was only from the extreme vanity and jealousy resonating from the female side. If you had paid any attention at all to their male counterparts, you would have known that they all found it completely incomprehensible that _you_ would somehow prefer _me_." He paused, frowning. "I'll admit- they're not total imbeciles."

I shook my head, disbelieving.

He looked at me with a knowing, almost tired expression. "What will it take for you to finally believe me? I saw and heard it all in their minds. _Everyday._ Don't you know how every boy longed to touch you cheek?" He demonstrated by stroking the skin over my cheekbones, producing an immediate blush. "To brush his hands through your hair." His fingers slid caressingly over my scalp. "And, most especially, to kiss those temptingly full lips of yours." He brushed his lips against mine.

My heart was thrashing loudly against my chest; it must have been visible. But if I kissed him now, it probably wouldn't last very long. I had to keep him talking.

"Anything else?" I asked hoarsely.

His smoldering gaze took on a slightly murderous glare. "Yes, you have no idea how far those disgusting cretins would go in their fantasies." His steel hands wrapped around my waist, as if protecting me from their evil thoughts. "And all the while they had no idea that my fantasies were filled with the thousands of ways I could kill them…" His eyebrows drew together and he pursed his lips, considering. "Tell me, do you think anyone would really _notice_ if one-hundred and fifty young adult males suddenly went missing?"

He sounded fairly serious.

I frowned at him. "_That_ was what you fantasized about?" I sighed. "You really aren't a normal boy."

"Well, it wasn't just me, I'll have you know. They wanted to kill me too." This thought brightened his expression. "You're also forgetting that I can think of multiple things at the same time. So while those ingrates had their farfetched illusions and I plotted ways to ensure those illusions never came to reality- usually with liberal amounts of skull crushing- I was also able to replace them with myself in some of the nicer fantasies. That made them a tad more pleasant." He winked.

_Well whenever you'd like to reenact one, you know who to call… _That's what I wanted to say, and only barely bit my tongue in time to prevent it. I was pretty interested in this subject anyway.

"I was always under the impression that your mind would be squeaky clean. I don't believe you."

He laid his head once again onto the pillow and looked up at the ceiling. "Of course you don't," he sighed. "When do you ever?"

"Sorry," I shrugged, unrepentant.

He brought his arm up to support his head as he looked at me. "What would it take for you to believe me?"

"You'll have to tell me a fantasy."

His fingers traced along my arm for a moment as he thought. "I don't know that that would be the best thing to do in a bed, Bella," he reminded me, smiling gently as if not to hurt my feelings.

_Well, it sounds like a perfect idea to me_. Again, all of these things I wanted to say, but if I did, I would never win. Just think opposite!

I bit my lip. "Oh, you're right. Maybe it's time for breakfast?" But what I really wanted to do was to satisfy another physical hunger…

He smiled at me, seeming to appreciate my willingness to stay away from physical temptation. I suppose it was a first. He kissed me swiftly under my chin and swung me up into his arms, only to place me in a seat when he had walked over to the kitchen.

Not _exactly_ the reaction I was going for, but the reverse psychology was working… sort of. How many times had he kissed or touched me this morning? I just had to remember to be patient- this would have to be a slow-building kind of tension.

"So, what's on the menu for today?" I asked pleasantly.

"I was thinking, _if_ you don't mind taking a temporary break from your scrambled egg obsession" -I scowled at him- "you might enjoy some crêpes?"

Crêpes also had eggs in them. There was hardly a breakfast food that did not contain eggs in some form- clearly eggs were simply meant to be eaten at the break of day. I was not obsessed, just following common sense.

"Sure." I watched as he brought out the pan and ingredients within seconds. Before I knew it, he was pouring the mixture onto the hot pan. "I'm curious now. How much Food Network did you watch to learn all of these recipes anyway? And how did you do this without my knowing it?"

He handed me a plate and utensils, then got some whipped cream and strawberries out of the refrigerator. "I had to do something to keep myself out of Alice's mind, what with all of the dress rehearsals, and hair rehearsals, _and_ make-up rehearsals she had before the wedding. And watching repulsive human food being mixed together has a way of taking all of one's concentration."

"Oh, like blood is so scrumptious-looking..."

He grinned back at me as he slid a perfect, delicate crêpe onto my plate. "Just you wait and see."

I kept my expression unperturbed as I added the whipped cream and strawberries. "But, speaking of Alice, what kind of clothes should I prepare myself to endure today?"

"As in, what are we going to be doing today?"

"That was the general direction of my question, yes."

I took a bite of the crêpe. It was every bit as delicious as it looked. He watched me, waiting for my approval. I gave him a resentful thumbs-up. He beamed and turned back to the stove to make more.

"Well, since we went swimming yesterday, are you willing to venture into the jungle again?" he asked.

"You don't think I want to discover the giant, poisonous insects of the Brazilian jungle, do you? Because I can watch the Animal Channel for that."

He chuckled. "No bugs, I promise."

I waited for him to give me more information about what we would be seeing in the jungle. Apparently he wanted to keep whatever it was a surprise. Well, it probably wouldn't be too scary. Unless-

"Will I be hiking again?" I asked warily.

"Not really," he hedged.

"It's kind of a yes or no question, Edward," I said flatly.

"It's hard to tell what you humans consider to be _hiking_… you also consider a four minute mile to be a world record." He shook his head condescendingly.

I reminded myself that I had been so absorbed last time we went hiking that I hadn't even noticed the difficulty of it. And likely, today I would still be just as concentrated on Edward as ever.

I drooped my shoulders defeatedly as I bit into another amazing crêpe. "Okay, but I hold you personally responsible for any accidents that happen to me here. Especially involving bugs and jungles."

His body stiffened. Darn it, of course he would be reminded of my bruises. But he said nothing, continuing to make me crêpes and I continued to eat them until I was completely stuffed.

My best options when it came to dressing were a spaghetti-strap top and beige shorts that ended only at my thighs. I donned them quickly and we headed out.

The hike was not very long, or at least it didn't seem too long to _me_. I did notice more of the twisting branches and slick rocks that intertwined throughout the jungle floor this time. Trust Edward to not have an actual path to follow. He made up for it by always keeping a firm hand on my elbow as we walked, which at least ensured that I never fell down on my face.

After a while, he brought us to a stop. We were still surrounded by thick trees, and there was nothing to mark it from any other place we had gone through, so I was confused that we were stopping here.

He smiled down at me. "Can you hear that?"

I listened hard. I heard some faint bird calls around me, but it sounded distant.

"Kind of. Then again, I don't know what I'm _supposed_ to be listening for…" I reminded him brusquely.

"Hmm, I'd thought this would have been more than close enough even for human ears, but I guess I underestimated even that." He smirked at me as he began to walk us forward again.

I glared back, but after a few moments I was suddenly hearing what I supposed I was meant to hear. And then I was seeing it, too.

A little above us in the branches of the trees were hundreds of beautiful, jewel-bright colored birds. They were so different, so many shades and markings contrasting from one another. The forest echoed with the calls they made to each other.

"Wow," I breathed. "Parrots?"

Edward nodded, looking pleased at my expression. "This colony has been here for quite awhile. They're actually rather tame now. I'm sure you could get closer to one."

I started to walk forward to one of the lower branches where a turquoise colored one was perched. He remained calm as he stared at me curiously, so I stretched out my hand to stroke the feathers on his back. I laughed as he closed his eyes and cooed.

"See?" Edward said, laughing with me. "You've not only conquered humans, but you're moving on to whole other species. Even the birds dream of you touching them. What more proof do you need than that?"

"You're not planning ways to kill him too, are you?" I asked cautiously, continuing to rub my new bird friend protectively. "I mean surely he can't be as bad as…"

"Mike Newton?" he supplied, the murderous glare taking over again.

"Mike Newton," the parrot echoed.

We both frowned at the bird.

"Mike Newton," he repeated, some others joining in.

"That's going to get annoying," Edward muttered.

We continued to play with the birds, or at least, I continued to play with them. Edward remained a cautious distance from them, afraid he might scare them off. He also may not have trusted himself to move any closer to them as they continued to chant Mike Newton's name every now and then, despite my efforts to teach them new words.

Eventually, Edward unpacked lunch for me. As I wolfed down my luscious garlic and butter roasted salmon, I realized something.

"So now that we're out of a bed, you can tell me one of your fantasies right?" I asked, scooting closer to him eagerly.

"You are extremely interested in this subject, aren't you?" He looked bemused.

"It's not everyday that I get to hear about you lusting after me…" I muttered before I could stop myself. Ack! I'd almost let my cover slip. I looked at him quickly; he looked slightly confused by my tone. How to correct things? "Oh, but you don't have to tell me, if you don't want to," I amended, biting my lip.

"Hmm..." he considered, brushing his fingers along my arms. "Well, Newton did have a somewhat decent one. He often thought of sneaking off behind the bleachers with you during gym. And I'll admit, he had good reasoning behind it: it protected you from getting hurt and the rest of the students from your bad aim."

I rolled my eyes. "Only you would fantasize about ways of keeping me safe..."

"I just told you- Newton did too."

"Mike Newton," some parrots echoed from the trees.

The conversation paused for a beat, as we both looked in annoyance at the forest.

Time to get back to the subject. "Well, that was one of Mike's, I want to hear one of yours."

"Honestly, you are greatly underestimating the power and breadth of Mike Newton's imagination. I don't think there was a single cubit of space left in that school that he had not desecrated in his fantasies." His eyes narrowed. "Remind me to burn our old biology table, by the way…" He shuddered remembering. Then his voice turned calculating. "Definitely no one would notice if _he_ disappeared. Jessica maybe, but no one listens to her anyway…"

He was avoiding the question. "Didn't you have just one original fantasy?"

He thought about it as I took my final bite. I rolled back onto the blanket, bringing him with me. I stroked his arm lightly until he answered; still fascinated by the way it shimmered when the streaks of sunlight hit it.

"Well, there was always biology. I'm still disappointed that Mr. Banner never chose to show another movie in class. I imagined a very different experience than our first." He winked at me.

"You would do _that_ in a class full of people!" I gasped, blushing. I had severely underestimated his lack of inhibition.

"Of course not." He looked offended. "None of my fantasies went as far as _that_."

My eyebrows drew together. "Wait. So you're saying that you only fantasized about… like, just kissing? That's all?"

He looked at me, unabashed, an eyebrow raised.

"Oh, you are too squeaky clean!"

He continued to watch me with a mixture of bemusement and puzzlement. "Well, not that those other thoughts _never_ occurred to me, but I wouldn't let myself dwell on them. For one reason, for most of our relationship I didn't believe that was possible for us." His face tightened. "And I had been right."

Gah, with one small sentence he could ruin a whole conversation. I had to distract him.

"What was the other reason?"

It worked. His face cleared only to draw into slight confusion. "Well, even if we hadn't had that obstacle, and I fantasized about things like that, how would that make me any better than Mike Newton?" he asked, perplexed.

It was true that it was gross to think of those other guys thinking that way. But Edward…

I shrugged.

He rolled his eyes and sighed. "Sometimes I wonder what would have happened to you if I had never saved you from your uncontrollable hormones, Bella," he muttered.

"Mike Newton," a parrot chirped.

With the fury that came over Edward's face at that moment, I was afraid I would be having parrot for dinner tonight.

"Hey- it's all your own fault! I told you I only get this way around you. Do you see this amazing musculature?" I gestured to his perfect chest. "It was love at first sight the minute I laid eyes on it."

"I believe that would be called lust."

"Remember? They go hand in hand for me. And, again, only for you."

"I'm very glad for it." He kissed my forehead and stood up, pulling me with him by my hands. "Shall we go play with those traitorous Mike-Newton-loving pests over there again? Or should I facilitate some population control?" He grinned, flashing his gleaming teeth wickedly.

"It's your taste buds," I warned him. "Parrots aren't too far away from penguins."

We spent a few more hours in the forests; I protected my bird friends from destruction by teaching them to say 'Bella Cullen'. It didn't totally endear them to Edward as they then chanted my name _with_ Mike Newton's right up until we left.

We returned home a little too early to start dinner and I, upon seeing myself in the living room mirror, headed quickly to the bathroom. I saw that my hair, having not taken a shower or brushed it since swimming yesterday, roughly resembled a Brillo pad. There were some snarls in it that honestly looked impossible to untangle. There was only the slightest chance that they might come out if I tried to brush them in the shower with enormous amounts of conditioner in my hair.

I jumped in the shower, quickly rubbing in the shampoo, and then the conditioner. I scrubbed myself with a generously soaped-up loofah as I waited for the conditioner to have a chance at working. Then I took my brush and cautiously pulled it through a section of my hair.

"OW!"

It took less than a second. "Bella? What's wrong?" Edward's anxious voice came through the door.

I rubbed the spot I had tried to brush through. It was still completely snarled. I would be bald by the end of this. "It's nothing- I'm fine. My hair is just a bit tangled "-I tried another section- "ow ow ow…."

I heard his hand grip the doorknob.

Wait a second, it took something like _this_ to get Edward to come into the bathroom while I took a shower? Well who was I to refuse…

Just as I was about to tell him to jump on in, I remembered to use my reverse psychology.

"I'm serious, Edward. Don't try to come in here. I'm fine. I just need to- ow! Freaking… _OW!"_ I had tried another section and did not even need to pretend the pain.

I heard the creak of the door as it swung open. Half-excited, half-mortified, I instinctively covered myself with my hands. His white hand shot out to turn off the water as the shower curtain was shoved away. I was suddenly wrapped in a towel and being carried in his arms.

"I'm not about to let you hurt yourself just because your tactile senses are so underdeveloped," he muttered angrily.

He set me on the bed, towel still wrapped firmly under my arms. Then, taking a seat behind me, he took the brush out of my hands and, taking a small section at each time, slowly detangled my hair. His touch was so light and controlled; I barely felt my hair pulled at all.

"Apparently I need to make sure you have time in the morning to shower. I always assumed you were a fairly hygienic person."

I folded my arms in front of my chest, pouting. "This coming from the man who never bathes."

"That's because I don't need to," he reminded me.

"Well you never complained about my smell before… at least, not in that way."

"That's true." He breathed in the scent of my hair and sighed. "It's particularly nice right now. Did you do something new?"

"Alice thought I needed some jojoba oil hoosie-whatsies added to my hair care regimen. I'm not even going to ask how much it cost, but the bottle alone looked like a decent trade for my old truck."

"So it must have been free then…" he muttered.

He brushed my hair from my right shoulder and his nose took in the scent there, sliding along till he reached my neck. I shivered lightly.

"Mmm, did she get you some new soap as well?" he asked as he lightly kissed my throat.

I was having trouble breathing evenly. "Yup."

"It makes you very soft too," he whispered, brushing his cold fingers across a collarbone.

"Oh?" My heart hammered against my chest. "Good. I didn't want Alice to waste her money."

"Not at all." He brushed a cool cheek against my shoulder blade.

I roughly realized that he had finished brushing through my hair. Everything was done and yet he made no movement to leave. He did, however, continue to brush his fingers along my neck and shoulders, enjoying the effects of my shower.

It was extremely hard to think coherently at that time, but I remembered I had to do the opposite of what I wanted.

"I'd better jump back in the shower," I said reluctantly, starting to move away from him.

His arms wrapped around my waist tightly, dragging me back to his stone chest. "Won't you stay a little longer?" he murmured silkily, kissing my hair. "This room could use a little freshening up."

_It works best without the towel_, I wished I could inform him. This was proof positive that my plan was working though.

I pulled my fingers through my hair, feeling nothing but softness.

"Wow, you're a miracle worker. Would you like to be my personal brush slave from now on?"

"I was just about to ask you the same thing." He inhaled deeply into my hair.

I settled more comfortably into his embrace. "Thanks. For saving me from my tangles. I was afraid we'd have to shave my head. "

"You're welcome. And that would have been one of the greatest travesties in all history."

"But would you still love me?" I turned my face slightly to look at his face, an eyebrow raised.

"Of course." He flashed his special crooked smile. "But I would buy you a great deal of hats."

I swiveled around to hug him, but, when my arms slid around his shoulders, I discovered that my towel was not as secure as I thought. It slipped down off my body to crumple on the bed.

We stared in shock at each other for a second, my cheeks flooding with heat. In the next blink, my towel was once more enveloped around me and Edward was carrying me back to the shower speedily. He set me down in the bathroom doorway.

"Sorry," his face looked strained and his breath came a little faster than normal. "That was my fault. I should have let you go earlier. I'll go get dinner ready." He quickly shut the door.

I let myself pout for a minute in front of the mirror. I had been so close!

Well, it wasn't the best outcome, but it was still a small victory. And the best part hadn't even occurred from my own scheming- clearly that was another sign of approval from fate that I was doing the right thing.

It was a miracle, but somehow I still had not blown my cover. And from the way things had gone tonight, I was whittling down Edward's stamina. Before I knew it, he'd be staying _with _me in the bathtub. This was going to work.


	5. Day Five

Day Five

The first thing I noticed when I woke up was that I did not want to move. This was a natural reaction as I did have the owner of the world's most perfect body next to me; who could possibly want to leave it? But actually I had another reason for not wanting to move. It was because every stretch of fiber in my body ached.

This should not have been a surprise to me. We had been spending nearly all of our time on the island outside, hiking and swimming and all manner of physical activity (beyond the type that I wanted most). Obviously, I had never been a very active person before since anything physical meant immediate danger for myself and those around me. Yet somehow, the soreness of working new muscles had not caught up with me until now. Again, it was probably because I was so absorbed with trying to fulfill necessary honeymoon requirements with Edward.

But the ache of my muscles would be ignored no longer, and I really hoped that I could spend the next few days in bed. With Edward. Preferably without clothes.

That would be ideal, but probably not realistic. I was overjoyed that my reverse psychology had been working so far, and I still wasn't entirely sure _how_ I had made it so far without Edward finding out. Even still, this was going to be a slow victory because Edward was very good at restricting himself, and I was not so good at containing my impulses to devour him. But, I was going to try my best.

I tried moving to my side. My thighs felt like pulverized bricks. I groaned in pain as my eyes opened.

Edward was staring at me worriedly.

"Bella?" He slid closer to me, placing a hand on my cheek.

Instinctively, I moved my head closer to his chest and groaned again. How could I have even used my shoulders that much?

He held me tighter and began to stroke my back anxiously. "What's wrong, love?"

"I think all of the swimming and hiking has finally caught up with me. Ow."

He looked down at me in surprise. "Really?"

"Yes." I tried to bring my hand up to his chest. I suddenly felt I wouldn't mind if my arm fell off.

He winced with me. "I'm so sorry. I didn't think it would be too much…"

I shook my head at him. "Edward, it's not your fault. We both know I am extremely weaker than the regular human being." My eyebrows drew together. "This is the payback I get for not participating in gym so much."

"But that was simply a courtesy to the other players."

"Well, I _thought_ so." I sighed. "Apparently I won't be rewarded for my good deeds." I tried to put my arms around his neck and immediately something similar to a gasp of pain slid from my lips.

He cupped his hands around my face. "What can I do?" His tone made it sound as if this was a life or death situation.

_Rip off my clothes and rub me over with coconut oil?_ Hmm, he likely wouldn't go for it, even if I tried reverse psychology. And I very much doubted that we had coconut oil…

But maybe I could get something from him. I casually stretched out another arm, immediately eliciting another groan of pain.

"Where does it hurt?" he asked instantly.

I tried to look reluctant as I held out an arm, but really, I was ecstatic. He took it carefully in his hand, closing his cool fingers over my bicep, and his thumb began to rub slow circles into the skin there. His touch was light as he caressed the sore muscles and I might as well have died and gone to heaven. When he'd finished with both arms, he placed a few light kisses along them.

"Is that better?" He smiled gently.

I nodded, barely coherent.

"Next?"

Ah, I really was in heaven.

"Calves," I sighed, as if he wasn't fulfilling my greatest desire.

He pulled back the covers on the bed to expose my legs. Then he slid over to take one calf at a time, and kneaded the muscles there slowly until they felt replete with contentment.

"More?"

I bit my lip, and a deep blush came over my cheeks. I didn't have to pretend embarrassment on this one. "My thighs," I whispered.

I was hardly trying to trick him anymore. He had practically intoxicated me with his impromptu massage, and it was proving extremely effective so far. My thighs were the sorest anyway because I had been using them the most.

He paused for a moment. I didn't look to see his expression, I was way too comfortable to raise my head, but I was fairly certain that he was torn about what to do.

My reverse psychology kicked in time to save him from his deliberation. "Never mind. You don't have to do that." I tried to shift my legs away from him and cringed automatically.

He slid down on his side so that his head lay by my stomach. Then he stretched out his hands, placing them on the middle of my thigh. His fingers rubbed slowly into the muscles, making them relax, which seemed counterproductive as my heart raced in my chest.

Last night I had chosen a satin nightie in dark purple to wear. It was pretty much the same as the others I had worn, there was still no lace or strategically placed openings to make it too scary, but the hem ended several inches above my knee instead of being floor length. And, though Edward kept his caressing hands safely on the material, with all of the massaging, the satin had continued to creep upwards, revealing more of my legs. This was, for once, a good thing as my bruises had continued to lighten; most had become a greenish yellow color now. Very easy to forget about altogether.

I could only look up at the ceiling, trying to control my breathing and occasionally closing my eyes in bliss. If I looked down to see him, I would likely break all of my pretenses and attack him with my voracious hormones.

Our relationship had never been closer to hunter and prey.

By the time his fingers finally stopped I might as well have been a puddle of bone and tissue, as I no longer felt a single point of stiffness in my body. I should have felt drowsy, but the touch of his hands had of course evoked several other feelings in me, which were not likely to make me fall asleep. My will was crumbling so I stayed where I was, not looking down. All I could feel was his cool breath against my hip as he continued to lie there; it was not even.

Not a word of my reverse psychology came to me; I couldn't think of anything at all, actually. He had not removed his hands from my body, and for a moment his fingers traced along my bare legs, as if he were pondering something. They stilled, and I felt him press his lips softly to my hip.

Just as I was about to scramble down to him and demand that he ravish me, he sat up and shot me a quick smile. "There. All better?"

It was obvious that he was striving for casualness, but his voice still came out low and rough.

I was very close to breaking my determination. This was such a perfect opportunity. I only barely remembered what the consequences might be if, by breaking that façade, I lost altogether and my chances went back to zero. Clearly, I was close to winning. He just needed a little more cooking time. And when he was ready, I would feast on him.

I took a deep breath to steady myself and then smiled back at him. "Much better, thank you" I answered him, with a smile. Then I twisted my lips in aggravation. "But Edward this really isn't fair. You've already conquered me in the kitchen, when by all rights you should have no skills at all in cooking- not only because you're a vampire but also a man. Now you have miraculously triumphed _massage_, which I can't even attempt to try on you since your skin won't move at all… how do you expect me to live with such perfection?"

He shrugged. "You've managed well enough for the past year and a half."

I raised an eyebrow at his smugness. "That was the part where you were supposed to tell me how perfect _I_ am."

He sighed as he swung me into his arms and began to walk to the kitchen. "I do. Frequently. You don't believe me."

"You just don't try hard enough." I folded my arms across my chest. "Well, at least I found one thing that you're not perfect at: recognition of opportunities for compliments."

"You know, you sound so smart when you say that."

"Why, thank you." I beamed at him, and patted his shoulder as he set me in a chair. "You're just beautiful when you listen to what I say."

"Not as beautiful as you."

I nodded my head in acknowledgment. "That was good, but try not to go overboard. These are supposed to be truthful."

"I am," he growled.

"Hmm, you're a good liar, but not _that_ good."

He shook his head at me. "I wash my hands of you."

As per my request, although plea was more like it, he made scrambled eggs.

"So, should we- finally- take it easy today?" I asked as I stuffed the fluffy, delicious eggs into my mouth. "In fact, I vaguely remember seeing an enormous case of DVDs. Why don't we watch one of those?"

His back was to me, cooking more eggs on the stove. He said nothing for a moment, but when he turned around to slide some more eggs onto my plate, his expression was bright.

"We still haven't seen a lot of the island. There's actually a large nesting of sea turtles on the southern side. The eggs should have just hatched; we could probably see the newborns."

Hmm. I had never seen a sea turtle before. I would have been rather excited to see them, but being at home was too good of an opportunity. "Edward, are you forgetting that you have an invalid for a wife now? Or are you trying to tell me that this island is wheelchair accessible?"

"Do you still hurt?" he asked, his eyebrows rising in concern.

I actually barely felt any soreness now, but it was a great excuse to stay in the house, and particularly in bed.

"Well, not _so _much- your magic fingers did prove very effective. But my muscles are definitely not in for any more of your sadistic hiking experiments," I cautioned him with a raised finger.

"I'll carry you," he offered, much too enthusiastically.

I raised an eyebrow. "Why are you so desperate to get out of the house?"

He quickly turned back to the stove and poured more egg mixture onto the pan. "I just want to make sure you see all of the island before we go," he answered casually.

I doubted very much that that was the real reason, as there was an edge of nervousness to his voice. He thought staying inside of the house was too dangerous. My hopes grew higher.

Still, his comment caught me off guard. Were we really going to leave the island that soon? In some ways, it felt like we had been here a very long time, but I now realized what a short amount of time had passed since we'd come.

I agreed to go explore some more around the island, and even to the carrying. When it came to dressing, my options for practical clothing were running out. There were still tons of untried lingerie and bikinis- somehow Alice had thought that was all I would need. I hoped she would be right later on, but for right now, I wouldn't have minded if she packed a few more shorts. But, since Edward had promised me that we would be doing nothing strenuous, I settled for a tank top and skirt to wear.

I noticed immediately as we walked outside the difference in the weather. The sky was slightly overcast with clouds that looked like it would rain and in the air you could feel an almost tangible humidity. It surrounded me like a sauna. I was suddenly very glad that I had Edward's cool arms wrapped around me.

He took me further into the jungle, seeing the thick trees and exotic flowers that grew there. We walked out onto the coast and saw a group of porpoises swimming; Edward promised to take me there the next day after seeing my delight in them. Then he took me to the cove with the sea turtles. There were a few eggs that had been broken through and the tiny newborns were slowly walking around to see their new world.

I felt a bit of a kinship with them. I had never been outside of the country before, except for a small excursion to Italy, of which I hardly saw anything except the horrifying parts. Everything about this place seemed magical to me. And best of all, I got to share it with Edward.

Now that I thought about it, practically any place I went to with Edward turned magical; hardly surprising when your companion was a mythical creature. But still, it made me think about other places we could go and turn otherworldly.

I suddenly remembered that when we returned from the island, I was scheduled for an immediate vampirization. And, for once, I felt a little reluctant at the thought. Not that I didn't want to become one- I was all for gaining a perfect body, brilliant mind, and the whole never dying, thus never leaving Edward, thing. But I was so close to winning with Edward now, and when I did succeed, well, it was going to be hard to give that up for a few years.

Suddenly, Dartmouth didn't sound so bad.

I thought about these things as we sat down for lunch.

I turned to look at him as I lay on the blanket. "So, I was just wondering- completely hypothetically, of course- what exactly were your plans for us if we did go to Dartmouth?"

A look of such eager hope came into his beautiful eyes that I felt almost bad for quashing it. But not that bad.

"We're not going, Edward," I told him flatly. Just in case. This _was_ still hypothetical. "I was just wondering why you would want me to go through the humiliation of flunking out of an Ivy League college. Is that really a human experience that I need?"

He frowned. "You would never have flunked, Bella." He sighed. "Once again, you fail to see your potential clearly. You are extremely intelligent. After all, you were able to guess correctly that five perfectly normal and unassuming high school students were really vampires." He grinned and winked at me.

"The way you kept stalking me and gazing at me hungrily was a bit of a tip off," I informed him.

He shrugged. "The fault is yours for being so incredibly delectable."

I nodded in approval. "Very good compliment opportunity recognition. But the whole stopping a careening van with your hands thing? Also a big clue. Come to think of it, it was fairly obvious the whole time." I shook my head at him slowly. "And you complain about _my_ acting skills."

"We better hope those do improve, or we won't be able to take you anywhere as a vampire. You'll force us into nomadism. Carlisle won't be pleased."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "How do you know I won't become your greatest asset? I may not know how to act, but I probably have a better grasp of human culture. For example, the dancing you all did at prom? That was the biggest clue of all. You actually waltzed me to a _rap_ song, Edward. You should at least turn me into a vampire so I can update you all on the latest trends. Oh, before I forget, hardly anyone stares motionlessly at the cracks in the cafeteria walls for fun anymore… if anyone ever did."

He cocked an eyebrow. "Is it our fault that the lives of you mortals are so tediously boring that they make cracks in a wall exhilarating?"

"And yet you've worked so hard to keep me a tedious mortal…"

He scoffed. "You're not tedious."

"I am. Very. That's why it's such a good thing that you take great interest in tedious things. I distinctly remember your fascination with me whenever I had to clean the blender."

He smiled as he remembered. "You're absolutely adorable when you get aggravated with household appliances," he explained. "You make funny noises."

I sighed. "Is that why you want me to go to Dartmouth? Because it will increase the tedium?"

"No. It's simply an experience that you'll never have again, in the same way."

"Why?" I asked skeptically.

"Well, just imagine it, for one second." His tone turned magnetically persuasive. "We would, of course, have a place of our own- somewhere secluded and in the country, close to the nearest wildlife preserve would be preferable." He smiled, flashing his gleaming teeth. "You'd have classes during the day; classes for me at night. The literary program there is unparalleled; I know you'd enjoy their classic novel courses. I would always be there for extra tutoring, though you won't need it, I'm sure. You'd bat off any rumors of me being more than a normal human, and I would annihilate any boy that wanted to date you." He looked especially content at this last thought.

"I'm a married woman now, Edward. I think it'll be safe."

He shook his head. "Hardly. In fact, it may have made it worse."

"How?"

"You really don't understand the male psyche…"

I probably understood it better than he did, what with all of the scheming I had been doing lately to relieve my raging hormones. And once again, I was thinking of the physical benefits more than any other advantage in going to Dartmouth. We would be all by ourselves, no other vampires around with supersensitive hearing. With the increased amount of stress from the doubtless vigorous course work, we would need a lot of distractions from such stress, and I knew of the perfect diversion for both of us. And I _was_ rather intrigued by their literary program now…

But I wanted to think about it more. What if- perish the thought- I didn't win? Then there would be no need to prolong my time as a human. I didn't want him to get his hopes too high.

"Well, it doesn't matter, because we're not going. I still see no reason for me to be human when I go to college."

He sighed and looked so forlorn at the thought that it almost broke my resolve. But then he stood up and his face had returned to normal.

"Then shall we continue on?" He held out a hand to me.

As I looked up at him I realized that, since I had not been touching him while I ate, drops of sweat had formed all over my body because of the intense humidity. This gave me a new idea.

I rolled backward onto the blanket as if faint. "Just a minute. It's really hot right now," I said a little breathlessly.

He came over to my side and laid a cold hand on my face.

"I can remedy that. For once, my temperature is an asset," he said dryly.

I sighed happily at his touch. "I've never minded it. But, well… never mind." I bit my lip.

"What is it, Bella?"

"Well, could you put your hands on my back? That's one of the worst spots."

He slipped his hands under me, keeping them over my clothing.

"Is that better?"

I hesitated. "Kind of."

"What would make it better?"

I looked at him cautiously. "Well… could you put them on my skin?"

He paused for the briefest second, then slipped his cool fingers up my shirt, placing them widespread on my upper and lower back. "Better?" he murmured.

I nodded. I was back in paradise, and almost impatient for this to continue. I was very much aware of the feel of his stone body lying next to mine through the flimsiness of my clothing. It would be no obstacle to rip them off, even for a human.

"Anywhere else that needs some cooling down?" he asked. How could he be so perfectly innocent? He was really making this too easy for me.

I bit my lip and looked away, embarrassed. "My chest."

This was completely true; I always got sweatiest there, whenever I did happen to strain myself with exercise. It just also happened to be a very convenient place for him to touch me.

He paused and looked at my expression. I continued to look down, hopefully obscuring the excitement in my eyes, but still easily achieving a look of mortification. The blush that crept over my cheeks must have helped.

Slowly, as if he meant it to be seductive but it could only have been from hesitancy, his hand slid to the front of my body, skimming across my stomach until the tips of his fingers touched the bottom of my collarbones. His cool arm ran the length of my torso, with his palm cradled in between my chest, where he could perfectly feel the staccato beat of my heart reacting to his touch.

I raised my eyes to his, but I was not embarrassed anymore. I only felt my insatiable craving for him, and saw the veiled desire in his own eyes. This was it.

I brought his lips to mine and he kissed me back. I was not thinking at all by now; no thoughts of rationality were present in my mind. I gave myself no reservations as I kissed him, and my hand, of its own accord, closed over his to bring it further right on my chest.

He broke off immediately, looking down at me in surprise and his hand snapped away from my shirt. Before he could move away, I gripped his shirt, bringing my face close to his. "Don't stop, Edward!" I cried and kissed him again.

His mouth turned unresponsive against mine, and he gently pulled my face away from his. "We have to, Bella," he breathed.

"No we don't!" I wrapped a leg around his and tightened my hold on his neck, trying to pin him to me.

He unclasped my hands and brought them to my sides. "Remember your promise?" His voice was gallingly calm now.

"I lied!" I gasped before bringing my lips to his again.

He went completely immobile now, stiff with shock. My senses were finally coming back and I wanted to kick myself. Had I ruined everything?

I finally pulled away to look at his face. He was not angry yet, at least. Still in the shock stage. But it was coming, I was sure.

"You _lied_?" He echoed, his voice sounding hollow.

I could feel the guilt on my face. But I was also incredibly depressed because I had no chance now and it was completely my fault. Darn my greedy hormones! I was mostly mad at myself, but it made me belligerent. "That's right! Go ahead; buy me the stupid cruise ship- I don't care! Just make sure it has a really big bed!"

A dozen emotions flickered across his face. My bravery was not feeling so high as I recognized a few: anger, betrayal, and one look that shouted that I was a lunatic. But his face finally settled on a careful expression of non-chalant bemusement.

"You're not mad?" I asked, completely bewildered.

He looked at me with serene eyes. "No. I've decided not to be. I really _shouldn't _be surprised, I guess. It was all too good to be true." Here, he shook his head at himself. "But, I don't have to be worried because I know nothing is going to happen, no matter how hard you try. So there's no reason to be mad." He sounded very confident.

His utter certainty irked me and I was suddenly the one who was fuming. "Oh, you think so?"

He just looked at me with implicit assuredness, as if he did not even need to say it.

"We'll see about that," I growled.

We walked back home and he chattered away as if nothing had happened. He seemed to be completely intent on acting like everything was normal. I suppose he didn't really have anything to be worried about, as he would be extremely cautious now, looking for any sign of deception on my part.

I was fast becoming depressed once again. And I was feeling fairly guilty. I wanted to explain the whole thing to him.

It wasn't until bedtime that I felt I could bring it up again. I dressed in a nightgown- this one made of lots of sheer material and loose and flowy in construction. It was actually too big for me on my top and the shoulders slipped down often. This depressed me further.

I walked out to the bedroom. He lay on the bed, over the covers, same as usual. He looked perfectly at ease with his hands behind his head, and a look of utter serenity in his countenance. Apparently this was his revenge, making me think I could never have the hope of breaking his defenses.

He was probably right.

I lay down onto the bed, but I didn't slide close to him. I needed to make amends first.

I raised myself up on an elbow to speak. "Okay, Edward. I'm very grateful that you're not mad, but you just need to know- I wasn't lying in the beginning. I was serious. I really was trying to be good… at first. But, then I saw how ridiculous the whole thing was. And how _right_ it is for us to be together, especially in that way."

His face had been frustratingly tranquil as ever as I spoke, but now his eyes lowered, away from my face. Because the anger was coming back? I had to get this out before he stopped me with argument.

"And honestly, how can you expect me to be good when I have to look at you every second of every day? You may have grown numb to your own mindboggling splendor, but I have yet to reach that point. _Maybe_ after I become a vampire and we hit the thousand year mark, I may find you only passably glorious, but don't hedge your bets on it."

His eyes were still down, looking down at some point past my neck. His expression was hard to read.

"And it is highly unreasonable for you to believe that I could withstand your magnificence with such a weak, mortal body. And, just so you know, you were much happier when I was trying to trick you- which was not very often. Most of the time, it was actually necessary. I really _did_ need you to brush through my hair, and I really _did_ need your hands to cool me down. It wasn't really tricking so much as… going along with an opportunity that presented itself. And there happened to be a lot of opportunities. Don't you see? It's really just fate trying to tell us that this is meant to be and we have nothing to worry about!"

He kept pressing his lips together as if to keep from laughing and his eyes had a strange look in them. If I didn't know better, I'd say it was… wistful? I'd had enough.

I brought my hands up to place them on both sides of his face. "Edward, what is wrong? Are you even listening to me?" I demanded.

His smile deepened. "Of course I am. Nothing at all is wrong. I was just thinking that you should get to sleep."

I continued to stare at him, trying to ascertain his mood. His face was smooth under my observation, but there was something he could not repress fully in his eyes. There was mirth there, but they smoldered a little as well.

I slid over to get a closer look, and when my body brushed against the bed sheets, I immediately felt that there was something wrong.

I looked down to see that, with the looseness of my clothes, part of my chest had popped free of my nightgown and was exposed to plain view. Happily, because I was lying on my side, it actually looked full and round, instead of mosquito-bitish as it normally did. A deep crimson blush swept over my cheeks, yet I was filled with joy. Because _this_ was what Edward had been staring at- and he hadn't immediately corrected the situation. In fact, he had been _prolonging_ it… meaning that he somehow _enjoyed_ it…

"You were going to let me sleep like this, weren't you?" I accused him, blissfully shocked.

"No," he answered too quickly.

"You were! You were _ogling_ me, Edward!" I giggled in ecstasy. Never had I put the two words _Edward_ and _ogle_ together before. Except in my dreams….

He shook his head. "I was doing no such thing."

"Now who's the liar?"

He turned his face from me, looking like he was struggling not to smile. With effort, a solemn look came over his face. "Remember what I told you about enjoying the bouquet while resisting the wine?"

"Yes."

"Same application." He shrugged. "I know _I_ can restrain myself, so what was the danger in just looking?"

"Usually, you'd say a lot of danger. Definitely before our wedding you told me that. Often. Almost everyday," I reminded him crossly.

He smiled again, unrepentant. "You weren't mine then; I had no right to look. Now you are, and I can… go along with opportunities that present themselves. Really, I was just waiting for you to stop talking, but you have a tendency to extrapolate for an incredibly long time when agitated."

"So you _weren't_ listening to me, then… let me start over-"

"Goodnight, Bella." He brought the covers up around to my neck, careful to not touch any part of my skin, especially the exposed parts.

I laid my head cautiously on his shoulder.

"Are you going to attack me?" he asked tiredly.

"No."

He narrowed his eyes. "Are you lying? I can't tell anymore. When did you acquire these new lying skills anyway?"

"I think it was when I joined myself with a family of corrupt vampires. It starts to rub off immediately. Just wait, next comes an insatiable desire for grand theft auto."

"Hmm. I suppose I'll have to watch you more closely from now on."

"Please do!" I began to shove the strap of my nightie down my arm. His hand stopped mine and tugged the strap back up.

"Not that way, Bella."

"Just because I'm giving you my conscious approval to look?"

"The conscious decisions you make are very dangerous. Only the unconscious ones can be trusted. Hence, I listen to you so much while you sleep."

"Well, I'm making a _conscious_ decision to not attack you… but I'm not giving up either. Just know that."

"Well, neither am I giving up. And I think we both know who has better self-control." His tone was smug.

"We'll see about that," I said, just as confidently.

And I was confident. If he was totally unaffected by me, why would he have stared? He was a good liar, but I was somehow sure that his confidence was just a bluff. I knew how he had acted these past few days, and this new determination could not cancel those out. I still had a chance, and I would work harder than ever to win my prize.

Author's note: The next chapter will be the last.


	6. Day Six

Day 6

Although I probably should have been depressed when I woke up the next morning, I was not. Somehow, I still was confident that I would break through Edward's careful defenses, though they would be ten times stronger now that he knew I was still, and had always been, trying to seduce him (though I would still bridle at calling it seduction. It was more _hoping_ that Edward might find my clumsy, awkwardness as somehow attractive). Maybe fate was working for me, instead of against me as it usually did. Maybe I was gaining more confidence in myself.

Maybe I was just going crazy.

Either way, I was going to give it my all today. The longer this went on the worse it would get, for him and myself.

I had to step things up. My bruises were blissfully all but gone, only the largest ones having even the slightest tinge of green to them, which would most likely disappear by tonight.

I was still rather bewildered by Edward's reaction. I had been expecting anger or frustration- that seemed only natural. But he had tried not to be mad. He was trying to act like it didn't matter.

He was a _liar._

If there was one thing I had learned about Edward, it was that when things got desperate, he lied. So, was he desperate now to make me think I couldn't win- because I _might?_

Okay, I was definitely crazy.

But, better to be crazy and hopeful than realistic and drowning in misery. Especially on one's honeymoon.

I knew by instinct perhaps that if it did not work today, it likely never would. I had exhausted every resource it seemed. I had lied, I had reasoned, I had attempted seduction with horrifying swimsuits and nighties (though I had not really any choice in the matter- that I blamed fully on Alice). None of it had worked. I was at my wits end. Perhaps I should just try them all over again.

The thought popped into my head of something that I hadn't tried before. Compromise. It had become a very effective tool when we'd used it before the wedding. I had been thinking about going to Dartmouth as I knew he was dying for me to go. But, I still wasn't quite sure. That would be a big thing to give up, but big enough that he would give in? I needed to think about it more.

Still, maybe things had changed overnight and he had remembered all of the reasons to be angry. I wasn't sure what would be worse. But, it was probably best to find out.

I opened my eyes to see Edward lying next to me. He had a very tepid expression on his face.

I shifted myself a little so that my head rested on my upraised arm across the pillow. "So..." I began hesitantly. "Good... morning?"

He smiled genially. "Good morning to you too."

Okay, so he did not appear to be angry, I noted with relief. That meant he was going with the 'everything is fine, there is no way that my wife can seduce me' plan. Well, it irked me a little, but I would have to control that.

"So, you're still not mad, right?" I asked innocently.

"That is correct."

I looked down for a second, tracing my fingers across the pillow in a circle. "And no matter what I do, you're not going to get mad?"

His eyes narrowed suspiciously as he briefly considered that. Then his expression smoothed. "The only reason I would get mad is if you were to _hurt_ yourself in your little attempts, which, if you succeed, I must warn you, I will from then on solder yourself to me so you can't escape."

"Well, there's more than one way to do that," I pointed out. "And if it's the way I'm thinking, I won't complain at all."

"I won't even ask, I'm sure I already know."

"I'll give you a hint: it doesn't involve clothes."

"Yes, I guessed it quite accurately," he sighed. "Why must it be in this area of conversation that I can always read your mind?" he complained.

"Oh, you wish." I scoffed.

"At this particular moment, I don't know that I do."

I sighed. Time to move on to my war tactics. "Well, so before you just admitted to not wanting to see into the inner workings of my heart and soul," -he rolled his eyes- "just remember that you agreed that you would not get upset."

"I won't," he promised, "but what exactly is the reason for this caution?"

"Well, I remembered that..." I paused, biting my lip for a moment, then rushed on. "I hadn't finished my list of logical reasons for us to try again, you see..."

He sighed just a little. "Just how long is this list anyway?"

"Oh, there are millions of reasons, Edward."

"Hmmm, interesting. Isn't there a theory about the converse being equally as true as the supposition? So there also are millions of reasons why we should _not_ try."

"Hey, you're not supposed to get mad, remember!"

"I'm not," he clarified in a very calm voice. "But that doesn't mean I can't argue my point either."

My lips twisted a bit. It would do no good for him to expound on his ridiculous reasons. Well, better to go for an offense rather than a defense.

"Okay," I allowed. "You are entitled to your own opinion, silly and unfounded though it may be. But while I'm talking, I don't want any interruptions." I warned him with a raised eyebrow. He nodded his assent, so I continued on. "Let's see, so I gave you reasons one and two, and in case your perfect photographic memory is not working, may I remind you that they were that we had not experimented sufficiently and also that it was not just one of the test subjects that enjoyed the experiment, but both found it to be satisfactory. So, logical reason number three: it would be beneficial for our mutual health."

He raised an eyebrow sardonically and I saw then that he could only be thinking of the supposed _danger_ such experiments put my health at risk. I rushed on before he could open his mouth to voice it. "Doctors agree that an active sexual life is healthy for couples. Obviously there are physical benefits. For any normal person it keeps their heart rate up, but considering my usual response to your touch, well it's probably the best work out my heart could get- especially considering that I hardly ever exercise at any other time. So there'll be no possibility of clogged arteries or anything like that for me, and also I'll have really good blood pressure. And of course there are emotional benefits as well. It's a very good release from stress, and Edward, I know you may be surprised to hear this, but you tend to overstress sometimes. But I think it's just in your nature, nothing we can do about it really, so it's a good thing we found such an enjoyable antidote for such stress..."

My words trailed off because, though all through out my expostulating he had maintained his calm, tolerant expression, now his gentle smile stretched wider.

"Why do you look so happy right now?" I asked suspiciously. "I'm not complaining, it's just not what I expected. Why aren't you mad?"

His was grinning now. "I'm merely tabulating all of your words. Remember, I said every word on this subject means an extra month of staying human."

Oh. I had forgotten about that lovely piece of information. "What's the tally so far?" I asked sourly.

"You're about 83," he began, pausing to take in my horrified expression with a smile of satisfaction. He continued on. "_But_, you're also living like a king with all of the extravagant gifts you've incurred. I've bought you a palace closely resembling Versailles to live in, billions of dollars worth of disgustingly gaudy jewelry, and the entire Dartmouth faculty to further your education."

"And cruise ships?" I asked, tightlipped.

"You have a whole armada full of them."

I controlled my panic. I was fairly certain that he was teasing. Well, I could play along. "Well, at least I still get to talk about having sex with you!" I said with an impish wink.

"Ah, 84 and one month and hmmm... what do you say to renaming Spain after you?"

"Edward."

"Oh, you're right. Italy would be more appropriate."

"_Edward."_

"No, really it will be fine. Bella translates to beauty, so they can't complain too much."

"Edward!"

He looked at me serenely, his lips curving into a crooked smile. I stared at him darkly. This was getting ridiculous. My purpose in talking to him about all of this was to get him riled up, or at least some kind of emotion beyond this cool, secure attitude of his. Yet now, here I was the one getting panicked. Why must he win at everything?

"You're interrupting my speech," I reminded him.

"By all means, continue. Just remember that the oldest living person ever recorded was 117 years old. Now, I'm not saying we can't trust that to extend with advances in modern science, but why take a chance? So, just try to keep it to a 396 word maximum."

"As I just explained, and clearly you were not paying attention, we've already found the perfect exercise for me, so I'm sure I'll be in excellent health even at 117," I said sarcastically.

He sighed a little. "Whatever happened to traditional jogging?"

"Oh no, very bad for joint health. You need to go for low impact."

"You know a suspicious amount of knowledge for someone who doesn't exercise. How did you learn all of this?"

"Renee went on a lot of different exercise kicks, and I was her unfortunate test subject..." My voice trailed off slowly because I had just realized that I hadn't thought of my mom, or dad, or anyone else beyond Edward since coming to the island. And I had promised to call her the minute I got here!

"To be continued," I warned him as I flung myself out of bed.

"What's wrong?"

"I haven't called my mom yet. She must be going crazy." I explained as I searched around the room. "Where's your cell phone?"

He tossed it to me -it must have been in his pockets- and then got up himself. "I'll go make breakfast," he whispered as I scrolled to her number.

She picked up after the second ring. "Bella?"

"Mom? I'm so sorry. I know I said I'd call you as soon as I got here, but... well, I guess I forgot."

"Oh honey, it's alright," she reassured me. "That's how honeymoons are supposed to be- busy." She laughed.

I tried to laugh with her. We had been having a busy honeymoon- just not in the way she meant it. My half-hearted chuckle turned into a sigh and I threw a dirty look at Edward, who was cooking breakfast with a very innocent expression on his face.

"Well," she brought me back to the conversation, "so tell me all about Rio, sweetie! Oh I just can't believe Edward took you to South America, on your own island! You know your father just rented a room at the lodge for us," she added a little resentfully.

I certainly did not want to hear anymore about my parents' honeymoon so I began quickly to detail the many things we had been doing on the island since we'd come. She was trying to figure out how she and Phil might ever come down for a visit themselves, of which a major obstacle was my mother's intense fear of airplanes and jungle fever, when she asked me a different question.

"Oh honey, you know the wedding was so hurried and fast, I didn't even get a chance to talk with you about birth control. Do you have everything taken care of? I mean, I myself have always been a fan of the pill, but-"

"Yes, yes Mom, that's all well and taken care of- " I interrupted quickly. This was not as embarrassing as it would have been if Charlie were to be asking me about this- I shuddered at the very thought- but it was a very unnecessary conversation. I had already had this conversation with my mom years ago when it applied to _her_, so had I needed to, I would have been well-equipped with information. Plus, I didn't want this to remind Edward of things I was "missing out on" for him. I glanced carefully at him now, but his back was turned from me as he continued to cook what looked like very tasty omelets.

"Remember all of the talks we had before on that subject, Mom? I've got it all taken care of."

"Of course, I should have known. But I just wanted to make sure. You may be ready to be a wife, but I don't think I'm ready to be a grandmother."

I laughed outright. Me, pregnant? Ha!

She let me go after eliciting a promise not to wait so long before calling again. I called Charlie after that too, and had a quick, slightly awkward conversation. I mainly wanted to check that he was somehow surviving without a cook, and he admitted that he mainly divvied up his choices between fast food and Billy's.

When I was finished, Edward had everything ready for breakfast. I sat down and partook of the omelety-goodness. I was feeling a touch of sadness now because I was reminded that it would only be phone calls now for my mom and dad. But if I let Edward see that, his own guilt would be ten times larger and that would help nobody.

The omelets were very good and I ate more than my fair share. I ate so much that I wanted more than anything to kick back with a movie and somehow trap Edward. I couldn't say I was exactly averse to exercise though as I was certainly ready for a certain kind of exercise.

But he must have sensed the need to speak up as he took the dishes. "So you wanted to go to the west part of the island today and swim with the porpoises, correct?"

I walked over to the humongous case of DVDs by the large flat screen TV. "Actually," I began slowly. "I was thinking we could watch one of these. You have so many, they're probably feeling downright ignored by now."

He rolled his eyes. "They'll survive, I'm sure. It's the porpoises we should worry about."

"Are you sure?" I lowered my voice to a seductive whisper. "We could pretend its biology class. You probably even have the same movie here, don't you?" I said looking at the massive amounts on each shelf. Then I turned back to him with a smile. "We could even use one of the parrots for a stand in for Mike Newton."

His lips twitched, and I wasn't sure if it was from the idea in general or because he wanted another chance at the parrot, but then he shook his head.

"Really, Bella. I want you to experience all of the island while you can. Let's go to the west coast."

I pouted for a bit, but then remembered that swimming entailed wearing a swimsuit. And as my bruises were all but disappeared, I felt more confident than usual that wearing a swimsuit would be a good thing.

There were still many bikinis that I had yet to try on, but today I felt I needed to go with something tried and true. I remembered that he had seemed to like the red bikini I had worn a few days ago, one that had some kind of magical properties that made it look like I actually had a bustline. Why not test the magic again?

I slipped it on, and indeed, the magic was working. I walked out to put on my sunscreen.

Edward had everything packed and ready and was waiting for me in the living room. I saw his eyes flash to my swimsuit for a tiny second in surprise, then he looked away.

"I just need to put on my sunscreen and then we can go," I told him, squeezing some of the sunscreen into my hand.

I held out an arm and slowly began to rub the lotion into my skin. He leaned against the wall and became suddenly very interested in looking at his shoes. I continued to rub the lotion in leisurely.

"Didn't Alice pack you more swimsuits?" he asked casually.

Aha. So he had noticed. I smiled serenely. "Oh yes, she did. But, I kind of like this one. And, I think, you said you liked it too, right?" I asked innocently.

He looked at me with a knowing look and folded his arms across his chest. He smiled. "I do. Red is a good color on you."

"Thank you," I said, stretching my neck to smooth the lotion onto it.

Just as I was about to move onto my chest, he took the bottle from my hands.

"Why don't I help you?" he offered cheerfully.

"Sure," I readily agreed.

Then, in the space of three seconds, and so quickly that I barely felt the motion of it, he smoothed the lotion over all of me. If I couldn't see the glistening of it on all of my limbs and stomach, I wouldn't have believed it.

I raised my face to glare at him. "Was that really necessary?"

"I always like to be efficient with my time," he replied with a triumphant grin.

"Well, I hope you enjoyed it," I muttered as I hitched on a sarong and began to walk out of the house.

He put an arm lightly around my shoulders. "I always like to be of use to you, love."

"Oh good. Because there _is_ something else that you could help me out with."

"I do have some limits of course," he quickly backtracked.

"Oh, but this really demonstrates logical reason number four."

"And that would be?" he asked hesitantly.

"Intimacy is a very effective means of showing affection for your spouse."

"Well, if I felt only an affection for you, Bella, then I suppose that would be a good suggestion. But seeing as I burn with an eternal, insurmountable and all-consuming love for you, there's really no way to properly show it."

I sighed.

We reached the west coast and saw the porpoises still swimming playfully around. Edward set down our things and, taking me by the hand, stepped forward into the water.

The minute his body touched the water, the porpoises scattered, shrieking and ducking out of sight.

"Ah," he said quietly. "Apparently their sense of danger is much stronger than some of the other animals." He turned to me with a slight smile. "I suppose I'll have to sit this one out."

"No, Edward," I protested. "I don't want you to sit all by yourself. That can't be much fun. Let's find something else to do."

"It's fine, love," he reassured me, stroking his fingers across my cheekbone. "You go play with them. I never tire of watching you." He glanced down briefly at my chest and I thought I saw a look of worry cross his face.

Hmmm, perhaps watching me in my magic bust-enhancing bikini from afar could be just the thing to make him finally crumble.

"Okay," I agreed hesitantly. "But tell me if you get bored. I still need to educate you on logical reasons five, six, and seven..."

"Go. Please. Take all the time you want," he groaned.

I swam further out into the water. There were only slight waves, nothing too strong to make it difficult to swim in, even for me. After a few minutes, the porpoises started to come back.

I played with them, watching as they did little somersaults around me, and making cute, little squeaky noises. Edward watched me from the shoreline, and he did seem to be enjoying it, too. But I could not see if my bikini had anything to do with that enjoyment.

I played for a few hours, even after lunch, because the porpoises were just so darn cute. The sun lowered in the sky eventually and the tide started to come in. It made the waters a bit rougher.

I was just about to head back when a particularly high wave caught me from behind and dragged me under. It rolled me around for a few seconds before I felt Edward's arms around me.

We broke the surface of the water, with me coughing and spluttering as he held me tightly in his arms.

"Bella! Are you alright?"

"Yes," I choked out. I had swallowed a lot of sea water in surprise and it burned in my throat.

"Please, _please_ tell me you were not trying to make that happen," he asked through his teeth.

I stared at him. Well, okay, maybe I hadn't been above that in the past, but I certainly had not been planning that. "I swear," I told him seriously.

Apparently he believed me. "Oh, Bella," he breathed, holding me tighter to him and burying his face in my hair. Then he was suddenly kissing my neck, along my cheek, and then my lips. "Never, ever, do that to me again."

"Okay," I mumbled in between kisses, threading my fingers into his hair.

He continued to kiss me, his relief at my rescue making his kisses urgent and enthusiastic. The water around us made his body, impossible though it may seem, silkier than usual. My hands could not be stopped from smoothing all over him, his arms, the planes of his chest. But he pulled away, all too quickly, his cheek pressing against mine, breathing hard. I wondered if he was trying to hide his expression from me, but when he turned, his face was smooth. Keeping me tightly encased in his arms, he turned around to walk us out of the water.

"Where are we going?" I asked breathlessly.

"Home," he said, his voice low. "No more swimming alone for you." He took a deep breath. "And it's about time to start dinner."

He must have thought that my bad luck had returned in full force because he did not let me go until we reached the house. I was bordering depression again now. I realized as we walked that I had very few options left. Even being a damsel in distress- when not even planning it- had not fully worked. What else could I do?

Then I remembered about the compromise we could make. I would do it. I didn't care if he demanded that I get straight A's and majored in rocket science.

After dinner, I went to the suitcase and searched through the piles of lingerie. No billowy white satins tonight. I picked out what looked like one of the scariest pieces of the bunch, gripping it in my hands. It would be awful, absolutely terrifying; I would not allow myself to even look in the mirror with it on. But if it finally worked, I would forever thank my lucky stars that Alice packed me this particular piece of lingerie. I was determined. Tonight, I was going to win.

BONUS

After the third "try".

"So, I was wondering..." I asked, laying my head on his chest as I snuggled closer to him. "Just how effective were my little attempts at seduction anyway?"

"Extremely effective," he almost groaned.

"Really?"

"Really." He smiled. "As if you didn't know that already."

"Um, newsflash, Edward. Your lying skills have not decreased with marriage. In fact, I think you've followed the pattern of all human males and your lies have increased with matrimony."

"I tried my best," he admitted. "But even my superior skills were no match for the powers of your seduction, Mrs. Cullen," he murmured, brushing his lips lightly against my throat.

"That's a relief," I breathed, trying to control my heart rate. I needed answers first, and then we could get in some more practice time. "But, really, which ones were the most effective?"

"Is this for future plotting purposes?" he asked, a smile in his voice.

"You never know with you, Edward. I've adopted the boyscout motto, and will always 'be prepared' from now on."

"I don't think I'll be rescinding anything anytime soon," he promised, his fingers trailing along a collarbone.

"But you still didn't tell me. Let me see if I can guess. I have a hunch that you enjoyed a certain red swimsuit, right?"

"Yes, I did indeed enjoy it," he agreed, a slight hesitancy in his tone that implied there was something more.

"But...?" I prodded.

"But, I don't know that it was one of the top moments of seduction for me."

"Okay. Um, what about when you took me out of the shower. Let me point out that this was not an actual act of seduction by _me_, because that was all _your_ fault. But it would be good to know if it was effective for future purposes."

"Yes, that was very tempting," he paused, then smiled again at me. "But still not the most tempting."

My forehead creased. "Okay, just tell me because I have no idea."

He laughed and brought a hand up to smooth some strands of hair from my forehead. "You remember how I told you you've been incredibly still during the night?"

"Yes, which is all your own fault for traipsing me across the island so much..."

"True. I am to blame for that. And thus it would have been entirely my fault had I given in during such times of utter temptation."

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.

"Well," he explained slowly, almost embarrassed. "I'm so used to hearing you talking in your sleep, and more often than not sighing my name. And then, to endure six nights without a single sigh- and let me remind you that you slept very long nights- it reminded me of all the ways I could induce such sighs." Here he sighed himself. "You very nearly had me there. If you hadn't attacked me last night, I very well might have attacked you in a similar manner."

It took me a minute to fully comprehend.

"I almost won... while I was _asleep_?"

"Yes."

"While I was completely unconscious?"

"Indeed."

"Are you sure you have human instincts? Because thus far, they've all been completely backwards," I grumbled.

"Believe me, they're there." He winked.

"You need to give me another example. And one where I'm conscious, please."

"Well, do you remember, the day of our little treaty actually, and I put the sunscreen on you?"

"Yes," I said cautiously.

"There you were, standing there, looking immensely beautiful with very little clothing on, and I had to caress the very soft skin of your back. That alone was dangerous enough that when I had finished I was deeply torn. And then, you just _walked away_, like it was nothing at all." He tsked.

"So I'm starting to see a pattern here. You find me most seductive when I'm not trying to be?" I asked with narrowed eyes.

"Look how smart you are. You see, I told you you're Dartmouth material."

"Yes, and I'll be changing my thesis paper to 'Vampires: the weird and completely incomprehensible inner workings of their minds'."

"Is it really that incomprehensible?" he asked with a smile.

"Yes."

"Why?"

I tried to explain it right. "It means that I have no control over... how much you _want_ me."

His face became soft and his eyes liquid as he looked at me. "You have much too much control over that. So much so, that it's unconscious. Don't you see? More than the lingerie and swimsuits, which I'll admit were quite distracting, it was the times when you didn't seem interested that would have conquered me. I'm so used to you always wanting me, always being so eager in that department, that it completely disabled my resolve when you weren't acting that way. I knew I _shouldn't _since I thought that it wasn't possible, but the selfish, human instincts in me became utterly desolated to see that you could be so blithe over the situation. You weren't being _you_- and the way that _you_ are is what I love. It made me want desperately to hear those things, to see you want me too. Those were always the times when I was ready to break my promise because I was so desperate to see your usual reactions."

"But I wasn't acting _uninterested_ when I attacked you last night. How come I finally won?"

"That is because I was simply insane by that point."

Oh. So, he had been struggling the most when he thought I didn't want him? Note to self: reverse psychology _is_ the key to unlocking Edward's defenses.

"Aha! So, you do want to hear my dirty thoughts after all?" I grinned.

"Well, I wouldn't mind if I could hear your thoughts during a practice session," he murmured, tightening his arms around me.

"Who knows?" I shrugged. "Don't believe in impossible anymore when it comes to what you want, Edward. Maybe someday you'll get your wish. After all, I got mine."

And I brought his lips victoriously to mine.

THE END

Chapter End Notes:

Thank you to everyone that has been reading this, especially those that were here from the beginning! I've enjoyed writing this story so much. I'll be sad to not write about Bella's dirty scheming anymore. :( Hope you enjoyed it!

p.s. A lot of my inspiration came from my own life, though not entirely since I don't have a inhumanly beautiful vampire for a husband. But a fun tidbit is that the "shower" scene where Bella had to untangle her hair came straight from a personal experience. I have really curly hair, and it gets dreadfully tangled at times. And I had to comb it out all by myself... :(


End file.
